Life's little moments

For the past months, When i was at work or at leisure, I would often hear an inner voice  telling me that i am ignoring my blog,  Everytime, I heard the voice i would silence it by telling that i have other priority work/busy   or usefully occupied now and will blog the next day...but  busy with  what? I know not....i simply know that was a super excuse for losing interest in blogging and indulging in other new tasks. 

Today, after two months when i picked my laptop to check on a page which was not opening on phone, I decided to open my blogpage and write something. 

Even now, as i am typing this....i don't know what do i fill it with.....My blog which is my storehouse of my memories, my anecdotal happenings, my travel diary is blank, ..but i want to say something and don't like this page staring blank at me. 

Have i said it all? seems like I have nothing to share or maybe i don't know to construct my thoughts  coherently.

Hmmm......may be i  should just write randomly about the little happenings of my life in the last two months ( dec16, jan,17) 

So let me first start with  a confession,

 The reason for ignoring my favorite space must be that I am hooked to my  smart phone.

While on the phone,  All my thoughts are shared through a different media where there are specific groups. I seem to be dabbling in too many things using the phone, making friends, meeting virtual friends in real, connecting with them on my interests, sharing thoughts ...ofcourse all this happens after i have attended to my work .

While lot of learning and connecting is happening through these groups, i find sometimes it is  too much of information explosion too. Ignorance is sometimes bliss and why learn about too many things..

Lot of learning is happening offline too. I had joined a sketching and watercoloring workshop, a rangoli workshop( sanskar bharati) and .....and.....the two left footed me is learning dance too  and i did give a public performance with our group on republic day in our campus. Unbelievable for anybody who knows me, because i hated dancing or watching dance unless it was my children's show....what a change!!! I know everything in life goes through a change, i am no exception!!! I am doing all things which i once would never have thought of doing. 

This republic day was a defining day for us personally, " the other man in my life" turned 18. 

my little organic garden is throwing me surprises. Every morning, when i open the balcony door, a new ripe red tomato says 'hi' to me. 

There are times, when my zero mile food dictates my menu,  methi paratha, methi thepla, menthiyakeerai vatthakozhumbu, methi alu fry,  tomato rasam, tomatoes in salad, pesto sauce, mint raita.... and waiting for more now that,  spring has begun....an ideal weather for veggies.

I am living and enjoying the little moments of life than photgraphing them, ( finding the charger, perfect lighting etc..is such a pain, by then I lose the moment), one such moment was during our year end break.

Our original road trip  to horsley hills was broken as we could not afford a 3 day break due to sonny boy's school but we did take a 1.5 day trip to a " watersport resort" cottage  near Chilkur.

While here, we threw ourselves back into pre-technology era and indulged in sports( tennis, badminton, billiards, carrom, table tennis), walking, breathing in crisp fresh air and eating healthy food.

It was fun moon gazing and star gazing, nature watching here......reminded me of my childhood days, when i had time, i would sit on the steps of my home and stare at the moon and think.....Ah!.....may be a separate post on this "Moon gazing".

hey wait, i have written a pretty long post.


For somebody, who started with "what to write"....this is a pretty lengthy one.


More on my next.....

but before that what should i title this post? .....have i said it all? or  "life's little moments".......the latter sounds better and optimistic...what say folks?

My first art teacher.

When she was just 2, I would turn the  plain calendar backs and  the white cardboard shirt supports ( that came with   new shirts) into canvas for her. I would write the alphabets in double strokes and hang an apple at the end of the stroke and a ball for B etc...The space between the double strokes would then be colored by the 2 year old with crayons. I would hold her hand and help her to color within the space and the objects.. Together we would go to Comfort ( our library) and get  Magicpot( a kids activity book from Manorama group) in the evenings. We would connect  the dots to from luttappi( a magic pot cartoon),  I never believed in conventional teaching and so tried various methods and activities to keep her hooked. An activity she enjoyed doing and longed for more. Even at the age of 2, she had such good control over hand movements.

Time flies and she is a testimony to that....

17 years later........roles were reversed:) ...

2 weeks back,

She held my hand and taught me to draw and paint on a canvas ..........my daughter....... my first art teacher.

Poetry and me

My relationship with poetry is not steady. We share an on/off relationship and the reason is simple.

 There are times when I understand a complex poem and there are times when people 'waah' waah' about a poem and I don't understand even a word of it. Those are times when i really dislike poems.So simply put ,When I understand the poem, I love it. When I don't understand, I don;t like.

But, during my school days, I loved poems and my earliest memory with poems dates back when I was in Class 4. My higher English teacher Shalini Raju had asked for the meaning of Chanticleer in poetry class and no one but me who sat in the last bench shouted "Cock" and my teacher was mighty impressed and asked the class to clap for me. What a wonderful moment that was, I still remember the place where i sat, the orientation of the benches,  the design of my class, the beautiful and tall stained glass windows and the steps that led out to the ground.

That was the beginning, From then on poems of  Wordsworth ( she dwelt among the untrodden ways one of my favorites) , Robert louis stevenson,  Robert Frost,Longfellow(Rain in Summer another fav of mine)  Sarojini naidu, Rabindranath tagore, kuvempu, pancha mangesh rai  etc...were all enchanting to me. In kannada, Punyakoti poem is one of the most touching and beautiful poem which has been  made into a film . When this poem was  explained the whole class was moist eyed.Often my teachers would decode the poems for us and it was interesting how beautifully the poems rhymed and made sense.  There were times, when  I myself would decode the poems and when it turned out correctly, I  would feel as though  I accomplished a great task.  Reciting, memorizing and writing the poems with correct punctuation also got you full marks. This is one of the sections in English which gets us full marks. So Poetry was my love in school. 

Later, When Higher english gave way to Sanskrit in another school I enjoyed Dramas more than poetry,  I was exposed to  great poets like Bhasa and Kalidasa's works but somewhere I felt Dramas were more straight forward compared to poems. 

Then , after a long long break, i encountered poetry during my children's early school days. When i had to help them choose or memorize a poem or help them complete a poem with a few guiding words. Together we have attempted a few lines  during their assignments and sometimes i would compose some kiddish lines with rhyming words. That was the only poetry I have ever attempted ....wriiten no major poetry..going by  Frost's defintion...perhaps  my emotions have not found thoughts and words......but  a couple of  years back....I read about Spine poetry in a blog. More on this tomorrow....

P.S: I am trying to knock off the writers block in me and so am attempting to write randomly and incoherently about a few things starting today for a week . Let me see ..if i will do this week long marathon except weekend).Fingers crossed.

When pictionary and carrom board came out.....

Another year went by giving me many memories, experiences and life lessons....some worth cherishing, some worth forgetting...overall an year in which I rose from strength to strength is how i will remember  this year.  While the year itself was a cocktail of experiences ...the year ended on a high note. The last fortnight was one helluva happening fortnight. For the past two years,  vacations have come to a halt as my son has no long winter vacations. So this year too ....no grand vacations but we had  3 sets of guests at our place which more than made up for vacations.

We ensured none of us would bank on technology to entertain ourselves ( not forced either) so there was not much entertainment through technology. When the guests came, we bonded over good home cooked dishes. entertaining outings,  loads and loads of conversations, laughter, mock fights, giggles and board games like pictionary, carrom etc rolled out to the drawing room. In between, we managed a one day trip to Warangal to visit  the 1000 pillared temple and Fort Warangal. Overall, a very happening fortnight where we made excellent memories worth cherishing.

Today, the daughter went back to hostel and I am back to the routine.....

2016 holds lots of promises.....Hoping to work on many of my interests....

Adios 2015, Hola 2016!!!

To my dear daughter,

My dear daughter, it was with joy I held you 19 years back on this day and ever since the day, a day has not gone when you hav’nt given me moments of surprise, joy, laughter, pride and ofcourse tears too( but I will not talk about tears…all those are related to your not eating food)

I remember every milestone of yours and have recorded them in stills and video but some were’nt recorded…….

At 1, we realized how smart you  were.  You walked by 9 months and were such a sweet child who attracted all those hostel students of IFIM who lived opposite our home with your liveliness and cuteness.

At 2, you could  color the alphabets which I drew on calendar backs  and you did it with so much control , you would settle down beside me when I chopped veggies and rattle off their names,  and you were off to pre nursery at 2.6 .  I still remember, how your brother would sense your arrival from school although i would hush you up and tell to tip toe, he would wake up and you both would play “scooter scooter” on my back. While the little one did’nt even know to speak, you would do funny faces and sounds and he would gurgle and laugh. It was such fun to watch you both. You were an entertainer even at that age.

At 3, you chanted all those slokams with much  clarity and you had even started sarali varisai.    @  Pankaja aunty’s music class. You enjoyed the puzzles and little luttappi stories of “The magic pot”. 

At 4, you romped home with certificates for singing, drawing and cursive writing. and  I still remember how I would sit you a while in the BDA park on our walk to the library. You loved playing the beach set.

At 5, while I felt you were too young to join dance, you volunteered to join Imran Sardariya’s  Dinky’ s dance academy and faced the camera for the “Amma ninna tholinalli” song with Ramesh Arvind with such confidence and that confidence showed when you were  published in ‘The Hindu’ amongst 50 kids.  Around the same time we shifted to Hyderabad and the very first day in your new school although you were moist eyed in the new environment, you  got a certificate for Cursive writing.

Around the same age, I loved the way you and your bro enjoyed Karadi tales, while you listened attentively on the audio, your bro would hold the book upside down and pretend to read. We both would laugh at those antics.

At 6, your teacher Meena Chauhan spotted your potential and selected you for all the extra curricular and you would come home and prepare for all those without my prompting. I still remember the way you practiced “The foreign lands” poem standing on the kitchen table. You asked me to correct your modulation while I cooked.

At 7, Your teacher Anita Potay, marked you again as a brilliant girl and  that was also the year you said you would study and do your work independently without my supervision. You enjoyed all the mythological stories I narrated to you and one day you refused to drink “payasam” , you said drinking “payasam” would make you bear babies. When I looked askance you said Dasharata wives bore babies because they drank payasam. This was also the year you volunteered again to join the abacus academy while I felt you were too young to handle too many things. Again, you proved me wrong by cracking the competition amongst so many older kids.

At 8, you enjoyed watching splash TV channel which was exclusively for kids. The kids cookery show in that channel inspired you to do cooking and you would mimic the shows with your brother. Both of you loved watching Caillou and Clifford the big red dog in the morning before going to school.

At 9, Once during our visit to “Lifestyle” on children’s day, you volunteered to participate in all those kids shows and you also wanted to join the fancy dress competition for which we were unprepared. I said you can’t participate in that since we were not prepared.  You said “IT’s ok ma, I can still be the newsreader”. You awed me with your presence of mind and confidence.

At 10,  You were always a great help even while young, but I loved the way you would independently take your brother and cycle within our colony to reach Madhu aunty’s beautiful summer fun class. The antique finish painting and the clay work  you learnt there still   occupy a place of pride in our home.

At 11, You simply soared in academics and co-curriculars. And remember the swimming you hated at the age of 6 in your school, you simply learnt in 3 days in our apartment pool and taught other kids too. You even learnt Breast stroke all on your own and due to your interest by watching others.

At 12, you started inspiring your friends and I was so proud when Sumati aunty told me that her daughter Akshi (junior national TT champion) took to studies seriously only because of you. She had to miss her classes due to TT coaching  and tournaments and you helped her and  motivated her. You have given me so many such proud moments.

At 13, I remember the drawing competition which you participated at heights -1- while you competed with kids your age and older who were trained in art . You beat all  those trained kids and won the prize in the competition.

At 14, The year you refused to throw a birthday party, you instead said you wanted to poor feed on your birthday, It made appa and me beam with pride for having raised a compassionate kid and you said appa teaching the 12^th standard underprivileged kids  was the inspiration for this.

At 15, You, a perfectionist ,disciplined child  would work so meticulously, diligently and do your work perfectly while balancing play and extra curricular. I still remember you played , attended your music and drawing class even a day prior to the boards. That  year also saw you getting a perfect CGPA of  10  and it was a moment of joy to see you go on stage to get the certificate and award for topping while all around in the auditiorium clapped for you.

 
At 16, I had tears of joy when appa pillioned and  you drove our new two wheeler. You started driving to your school with a learner’s licence. This was also the year when you joined the NCC and roughed it up at the boot camp. It was a matter of pride when a random man at an exhibition walked up to me to say “ Your daughter has leadership qualities”.  an ex-army officer at your boot camp and a visitng faculty at the business school ISB, a man of his calibre saw potential in you is a cherishable moment for any parent.

At 17, While you always took control of situation, were matured and independent, this age saw you  focusing more on academics and we never had to push you to do anything. I found you slightly stressed this year since you wanted to ace the entrance. You found  it tough to balance due to school work and the design coaching work.  Yet again a milestone year for you, where you aced up both academics and entrance. The year we also took the  malaysia -Singapore trip which was a great learning and enjoyable experience.  You and your bro lived independently in a separate room and we your parents found it  amusing when you both led and navigated us with guides, maps and directions. This year also saw you fly away from the comforts of home and live in a hostel.

At 18,  The  new environment, new set of friends, academics , home sickness were again proving difficult for you initially but you over came all those mighty obstacles and proved you can defeat them with your fighting spirit.  Very proud of your fortitude, Yet again another year where you aced up the system all over your national institute and brought us pride.OFcourse, your appa your confidante was a great moral support to you.

 Aah!.…. This was also the year you took  your car driving lessons, earned  your four wheeler driving  licence and you overtook your amma in this. I felt like the bournvita mom where the son defeats the mom in the running race…you know some defeats in life bring so much of joy and loosing to your child is one of them. I was overjoyed when I saw you maneuver the busy Hyderabad traffic at  Nacharam, that day of course you were guided by your dad…a few days later when I heard you telling appa not to guide, I and appa could only exchange glances of pride. Not just me, it feels nice when our neighbours, relatives and friends think the same about you.  I got a whatsapp message from Anu aunty the same day telling me that you crossed her while driving and she said I can’t believe how kids grew so fast and she wrote you were a role model for the girls of our complex.

Very true what she said, don’t know when you kids grow so fast, we blink and you grow  while we parents stop growing. In fact, it reminds me of a poignant dialogue from a Tamil movie Abhiyum Naanum (remake of Father of the bride) which beautifully details the bonding between a dad and his daughter, from a little girl to a grown up. The dialogue goes:

“When a child is born, a father is also born. But child grows up so fast while dad remains the same”.

And ,  you are already 19!!!! Dunno when??!!... a very mixed feeling.

 A very happy birthday to you my dear girl. I am sad  you could’nt spend the day with us but am glad that your friends have hijacked our place momentarily and made the day memorable for you. Glad to see you surrounded by such responsible and loving friends. Hoping to meet you this long weekend.

And of course, our hopes, prayers, wishes and blessings will continue to grow for you and I know you will stand by the values you were raised with and you will grow stronger and stronger with God’s grace and elder’s blessings and be happy forever. It was another cherishable moment when all your aunts, uncles, grandparents,extended family, teachers and friends  blessed you today . You are cloaked with their wishes and God's protective hand around you. You are my beautiful, talented and wonderful angel  and you very well know you have a perfect cushion in your family to fall back . Happy birthday again, my dear princess. Stay blessed forever. 

Doodles and colors in my dream :)

I was turning pages of an old magazine which my daughter had bought from the second hand book market. She had bought them for one of her project works last year.  She left them home this year and I was wondering if i must retain them or sell it to the raddiwalla. I was stacking them and suddenly an article on the amul moppet caught my attention. I remembered I had drawn some cartoons, painted a few landscapes during my school years and one of them was that little amul girl. My mom used to encourage me my drawing on post cards and A4 sheets...when they were done, she would ask me to post them for relatives during new year, pongal, diwali etc... My drawing ,painting and craft skills just ended there with my school days. During college, drawing circuits and connectors took over and then with work and other things in life...i had never thrown a glance towards any of those colors and those colors never lured me too.

Even when i brought crayons and paints for my kids or other birthday kids, the colors never beckoned me to lay my hands on them.

But that day when i saw the amul moppet, it struck me i should try and see if i could draw and surprisingly the amul moppet was not bad ( first pic) and an approval from my creative designer daughter encouraged me to try one more and that too turned well and now i am bitten by the creative bug and like Macleod says there is a little voice in me asking to doodle and play with the colors of the rainbow and beyond. I am now enjoying this spurt of creativity which was lost some 28 years ago during my school days. I am rekindling this with whatever i learnt in school and all those greeting cards which amma used as a tool to encourage me is coming of use today. These colors and doodles are now chasing me in my dreams that I atleast try to make one every two days. They are no master pieces but surely give me happiness with each stroke and i so feel at peace with myself.

My subject have been mostly Indian traditional and folk arts...it is my dream( atleast for now) to revive and restore Indian arts like Warli, Madhubani, Cheriyal, kalamkari, shall see where it goes from here but for now enjoying this:)

Storing some of my pics here.

An alumni meet triggers a few school memories

It was another one  of  husband's school alumni meet and he had to miss this time due to a priority work. But his friends had managed to webcast the same and I too joined to watch the fun. Many of his friends shared some of the school memories most of the strict punishments, warnings and other naughty pranks were fun to hear, One of his class mates narrated how hindi language was a night mare for him and he could not differentiate between sanskrit or hindi when recently somebody had forwarded a message to  him.  He also shared how once  his teacher asked him to make a sentence with " Prathi din" in hindi. and he a ttempted to make a sentence with  "prathi din mera janam din hai"  and felt accomplished only to realize its meaning later.  

Listening to their anecdotes, i was reminded of my own....for me kannada was a night mare, I had chosen this as my third language. A jobless neighbour uncle of ours helped me in class 4 and a few of our neigbhour kids during exam times  with  kannada and there was this lesson on Malaria where i had to read a sentence " sollegalanu dhoopadinda hodisabahudu" meaning you can chase mosquites with the fumes of dhoop. solle in kannada meant mosquito and i read it as Soole ( meaning prostitute) meaning prostitutes could be chased with dhoop. My neighbour uncle laughed heartily while i had a puzzled look ...... for long he  used to remember this and recalled in many gatherings till i grew old. He would say,   while he felt like scolding others for making mistakes...i would always get away for bringing such lighter moments. Another time he asked meaning of " Pragati" and i told him "gotthu uncle - i know uncle" confidently and said " kett buddhi" ( bad intelligence/knowledge) and sported a confident look...all these were fun moments in the small class. 

While my husband was telling he could not recall any of his school memorable moments( he has a very bad memory which i think is a blessing in many circumstances) ...my mind travelled back to the 70's and 80's to my school and college times...

Although i can't remember any of the incidents of LKG and UKG which i combinedly did for an year( 6 months each) at a small montessorie school opposite my home in Rajajinagar....i remember a memory vividly of my First standard. we then shifted to HAL in Bangalore and I studied in St. Thomas school. My uncle who then stayed and was looking for employment would walk me to the school...my school was a km away from my home and we had to walk the broad HAL  road which had a divider. The roads were not busier then but it definitely had cars and big buses which carried people to the airport and a few heavy vehicles like loaded tempos and lorries. One afternoon during lunch break I found a way out of school and walked on the road divider safely to reach home, I was just 4.5  or 5 years old. I told my mom who was washing clothes that due to teachers meeting we were let off. Next day, too around the same time, I reached home with the same excuse. While the previous day, my mom did not suspect me, the second day my mom found out something was fishy. I  was a pampered single child then and hated school where the nuns were strict and were walking with a cane in the hand. I was not interested in studying and would find ways to bunk school.  My mom  immediately readied herself and took me to the school and found the school was functioning. She left me in the care of the nun and all i know after that  was the bamboo cane leaving purple scars on my legs right in front of the chapel where i knelt to pray to god. 

To this day, the whole incident is unerasable in my memory...thankfully i studied in that strict school just for an year.. for second standard,  since my mom moved to her maternal home for delivering my sister i studied in Kumaran's school in Mylapore for 6 months. This school was more like a home, where the teachers pampered me like their own child...it was a small school and my teachers used to take me to their home. I particpated in dance and fancy dress competition and won prize. The photo copies  of which are still in many of relatives place that recently my second cousin in Atlanta had posted in a family group and asked to identify me.

My third standard again I shifted to Bangalore. Chennamma memorial school at Richmond road , run by Chinmaya mission with montessori methods and headed by Lalitha Mandanna.... a school that gave me excellent exposure to sports, creative arts and studies.  Perhaps this school brought out my love for sports and arts....more on this and other anecdotes  at another time.....

P.S: signing  off this post at 1:28 a.m  - another one of those sleepless nights which helped me to blog.

PPS: edited spellings on this post on reading a second time...i have to be careful now because recently my daughter's friend read my blog and told her" your mom makes many punctuation and spelling mistakes"....LOL

My longest blog break

This has been my longest blog break ever since i started blogging. What excuses do i give for this break i don't know...It could be any of these...

!) staggered vacations of my teens..April, may for son and june to Aug 1 for daughter.
2) The laptop hijacked by the children and so i was connected to the world only through my hand phone.
3) My eye pain and headache thanks to the hyderbadi heat wave
4) or was it the writer's block....I tried twice to build a post in my mind but  the words were incoherent.

I don't really know....

But I thoroughly enjoyed and revived some of my dead interests in these period thanks to my teens.

Parenting i understand is a two way street now....while i taught them they were young, now they teach me and have helped me revive some of my dead interests.....drawing, painting and singing....so these is what kept me busy  along with my spiritual seeking interest while i was away from the monitor......apart from this ofcourse, my organic gardening is still on.....I harvested some mini carrots, microgreens like mustard, methi, tomatoes, alternanthera, amaranth,curry leaf, mint , few chillies and my thai basil adds health to my  green tea. There are still heavy blossom drops in my micro farm. If it weren't for these blossom drops, i should have harvested some red bell peppers, tomatoes, and by now i should have been self-sufficient in  home grown chillies but undeterred i move on adding soul to the soil in my pots which help in building immunity for them against the aphid attacks and my small contribution to avoid adding toxic methane into the air via  degradable wastes at landfills..

What i missed most this summer was my vacation, due to the staggered holiday calender of my teens, i could not make a trip to my home town...but they did visit myhometown , while daughter was awaited, son visited my parents and in-laws  and while son went to school, daughter visited hometown and she also had an additional vacation to Dehradun, Delhi, mussorie and Rishikesh with her friend).  But we  did enjoy a few mini family vacation to the adilabad area of Telangana. Telangana tourism has promoted some lovely tourist spots which are new and eco friendly like Kawal  tiger wild life reserve, Nirmal( famous for nirmal Paintings) and i also visited Basar and mantralayam.



During the trip to Adilabad, I made an interesting observation from Nirmal to Adilabad, this is a total tribal area. People here are dependant on Agriculture that too traditional methods of agriculture... they use only organic manure like animal dung and they store the grains in a beautiful conical haystack storage and they fence their homes with bamboo sticks which are artistically crafted in criss cross patterns....although hand made they were perfectly finished like machine made. And what is it about these tribal folks that even old people have no grey hair although wrinkled and dark due to the hardwork in fields. Me thinks,  It must be that they are in sync with nature without using artificial products like Shampoo and other fancy chemical products.While i made that early morning trip from Adilabad to Jonnaram(Kawal) i found most of them were already in the fields while some were walking, that explains why these tribal locals are slim.

Ah....that reminds me...i too have made a resolution to  rely on eco-friendly products and try to avoid plastics and  synthetic and unwanted materials into my home. atleast i try...as a first step, i am avoiding plastic wherever possible, I use the traditional coconut fibre for dish washing instead of scoth brite, i have replaced  chemicals and toiletries with eco friendly products.  I have stopped giving into fancy advertisements and am "Becoming minimalistic" and even in my painting i am trying to revive and promote Indian arts like Warli, kalamkari and other indian styles....slowly making a change for the better and trying to live in  sync with nature.

That in a nutshell ;) summarizes my break.....hope i hav'n t missed anything...


Oh yes!!! i missed something....while connected on Smart phone,... i was busy connected with friends and relatives in useful sharing of Gyan and info and i have  joined some wonderful groups on FB. The conversations there are so enriching  and i am learning a lot from some unknown friends, infact some of them are inspiring. but yes i am sensibly using the medium and gaining interesting info....it infact has become my news paper while  the newspape at home "The Hindu" which was once considered a  "prestige" to read has joined its peers and  is only adding value to the monthly ruddiwalla and to line my kitchen shelves or maybe to fill in the sudoku squares for others at home. and to read comic strips like Calvin and Hobbes.

( will edit to add pics of kawal, carrot harvest etc.)

I hope i don't get a writers block again and i continue to blog....cause these words are flowing at 1.50am...while i generally sleep early at 9.30 and get up at 5..

Oh another news to share...while my son got an effortless 9 CGPA without external tuitions in Grade X and got  admission into one of the best schools for grade XI through an entrance test ( i must say again effortlessly, no hardwork only traditional intelligence) . On the other hand, my daughter stood All india first ( first year -I & 2 Sem) in her national institute  amongst 3000 students across various streams and various places of India . And this course of hers is not about hardwork alone but it is also about creativity, perfection and impromptly answering to a jury of 12 member ( 3 in each of the 4 subjects)..... just a beginning for her  3 more years to go.....but it was a overwhelming moment for me.

Some simple moments - motivational and memorable

Life to me is in the simple things, the tiny things that happen daily, the everyday moments. I see life through a small window, I am glad about what I have and seek happiness in them.  These small moments sometimes help me to steel my resolve, lend a new outlook and build strength to strike out anew and motivate myself.

For instance, one of my motivational moment comes through flipping the many pages of my photo albums where many memorable moments of my children and family are stored. I consider this album that I made is paying major dividends today when my children are teenagers and my elder is now in hostel while my younger will soon move out.

The first time my daughter and son  had their first tumble, their  first step,  their first picture  holding the bottle, the first of everything in their life has been recorded and clicked with a small note. Similarly with our vacations and family functions.  And today, this album serves as an activity for us. I simply adore the family time we have  sitting on our kingsize bed and discussing the photos while we flip through the albums with many  albums scattered around us. It is a great family bonding time for us today.

Similarly, I love bonding with my extended family every vacation.  Apart from the various planned and unplanned trips, one thing was sure. Spending time at our elders place and connecting the younger generation with the older generation. The  many happy  moments  that I have spent with my parents, in-laws and extended family of uncles and aunts along with my family has become like a glue and today just recalling those lovely moments like sitting under a star spangled terrace and eating a family dinner under the moonlight or talking about trivial things and playing antakshari or dumb charades  with my uncles, aunts, parents, my husband , cousins and their kids,  recalling such simple  moments  sort of builds confidence and motivates me. Such memories are special for me and have become like a part of my family biography and I recall  them to perk me up.

While birthdays, anniversaries and holidays can be perfect opportunities for memorable moments, for me it can be in as simple as somebody patting me on my back for a simple reason. Such  moments stay in me forever.

Take this little moment that happened when I was I think in 6^th standard. I loved reading books and magazines and would participate in contests or writing articles. There was a question and answer column in “science today” magazine and  my query was published in the book. It was a very simple one liner but my Grandfather was so happy to see my name published. He flaunted the book in a wedding and told everyone of my relative. Their encouraging words and my grandpa’s ‘Pat” on my back  served as an encouragement for me to do well. I have since then written articles for magazines, some of them were published and some were rejected. But, everytime I fail in writing, that ‘pat’ motivates me. Today writing blogs is a huge outlet to my thoughts. It gives clarity on what goes in my mind and head . There are times, when I sit to write and don’t even know that all these have been inside me and there are times when I build things and write.  But that pat that day might have not have been of importance to many but for me it is so motivating and memorable that today it has outlived my Grandpa.

   I learn to notice such small memorable moments today like in the sunrise, sunset, the freshly sprouted russet mango leaves, the radish flower bobbing their pretty petals in the evening breeze, or the beautiful starling carrying the long dried stalk in its beak to make its nest, chatting with friends on my whatsapp group, the night skies, lying down on a carpet of grass in open air, a bliss of melodius music,  the smile of an unknown baby ….so many such simple things.

The simplest of things in life sometimes have the most profound influence on me. I need no earth-shattering moment or epiphany to recognize them.

Reflecting on his school graduation day

It was his graduation day (farewell ) at school (Feb 14) and he was to be dressed in formals. In a blazer and tie he looked dapper - my son. I could’nt resist uploading his pic on my whatsapp profile and my status read “ The other man in my life” …and a few minutes from then I got whatsapp messages from friends and relatives complimenting him and a few more said they refuse to believe that he looks so grown up.

And my reply to them “Haan, patha hi nahi chalta, bacchein kab badein ho jaate hain” ( yes, don't know when the kids grow big)

Seriously, this is one sweet bitter moment in any parents life. I did’nt relate when many of my young friends were lamenting that their babies were becoming “big” and going to kindergarten. I would think the young parents were over reacting and fussing.

But now, suddenly seeing my son in a formal suit and when he said today is his last day of high school( Class X) , I turned wistful. Even going by the facebook posts of his friends parents who turn emotional with “sniff” and “awww”, Like all, I too wonder where the time has gone.

It seems like just yesterday we sought admission in Carmel School Bangalore where his elder sis was studying UKG. At two years and 4 months due to underage he was refused admission. ( 2 years and 6 months is the admission age for ICSE )

Months later when we shifted towns we thought we were lucky and saved our admission amount and we remember asking the CBSE school in Hyderabad to admit him to LKG. The Principal, a visionary and child educationist said, even two months can make a difference in the motor skills of the child and so she said, if we insisted she would take him to LKG but it would be better if he were in nursery and thus started his education in this school at 3 years.

Yesterday, seeing him in suit and boot, i suddenly recalled the firstday of his school and the rocking horse that I have related here. 13 years have gone by since then....where during every PTM he has made me only proud and the previous class teachers would say " I miss him in my class" and it is more heartening to see his teachers who have been transferred to different cities( most of them are naval officer's wives and so get transferred)  wish him on FB  even now.( He has not been a topper in class but his teachers would acknowledge his intelligence and as a parent, I am so proud he has never been to any private tuitions so far and has done well in his studies and sports. 

sports day in UKG(left) 

All of them have been instrumental in chiselling  him into a fine young man and although wistful that he is growing big, I am happy he is only growing to  build bridge towards his dream. All set for his class X boards next month( he turned 16 on jan 26th)  and he his more than ready and excited for his next school and his next stage of his life as a secondary school student.

 I am so lucky to watch my kids grow and record every meaningful day of their life….even if that means growing away from me.... but it surely is a mixed feeling.

A mommy moment again!

I and my best half are early  risers. Both of  us are up before the sunrise,  anywhere between 5 to 5.15( after a few snooze buttons). It is during these early  morning hours  most times, we get a call from our daughter  telling she would be going to sleep at that hour. Most days, our daughter studying from a hostel works all through the night to complete her assignments, sleeps for just 3-4 hours per day and then rushes to her college which is within the campus. But then,  such is her nature of branch study  which is design oriented ,creative and her assignment work has to be innovative. It is not just her, the status of her hardworking friends too read similar to “ Sleep?! What’s that? “. Sleep is the only area they complain, else they seem to enjoy their work.

So, when she came home for the first semester break, I was too happy for her.  I thought  she would get 15 days of proper rest, leisure and I would pamper her with  home made food.  My parents had also timed their visit so that they could spend time with their grandchildren.  My son who is in Class X had no winter break, we decided to spend our vacation at home with a few local outings and have a great family time.

All was well, till her  4^th day of vacation. On the 5^th day, she had planned to go out for lunch  and catch up with her friends who had also come down for their semester breaks. That is when she got a call from her lecturer asking her to join for an internship in “Communication design” for a couture show to be held at one of the leading hotel .

Indeed, It was a lifetime opportunity for her  but now  once again she came to her  cycle of hardwork, workplace food at erratic timings the only solace was she would come back home for a 5 hour sleep.

Although the mom in me sulked that she had no proper food and rest, the other side was proud that she interned for a leading couture designer & pioneer who had clients like Princess Esra and she could get to speak to such noble people, interact with some leading lights at such an young age. It was a lifetime experience for her and that certificate of internship would be a feather on  her cap and she was one of the 3 member student(she got to choose the 3rd student) crew in the show and was chosen because of her first semester work and that designer is Tarun Tahiliani.

It was a mommy moment for me yesterday,  when i held that internship certificate in my hand. 

Am very proud of my girl!

To my little princess

The horlicks bottle in the cupboard,  the purple water bottle and tiffinbox that I packed all these days,the towel on the laundryline, the school uniform, the books stacked on the cupboard all remind of me of you sweet heart.

I am not in the present since you left for college and hostel today morning.  I am turning pages of your 17 year old  past since the day you touched our heart and changed our world forever.

I am reminiscing about the times you started gurgling,, the first smile, the first step you took, your first day to school, the way you took care of your little bro, your walks with thatha and patti to the temple for kovil prasadam, to the park, the day you stood on the wooden stool and practised for your first recitation poem " the foreign lands" which got you second prize, the day your photo was published in " the hindu" for the "dance" garam chai ki pyali ho" at age 5 at town hall,  your first film shooting forthe kannada movie " Amma ninna tholinalli", your zest to join the dance class at Dinky's, music class with Pankaja aunty, though you were conventionally young to join. the first prize for cursive writing, the many all rounder awards you received. 

So many of your growing  memories are playing in my mind that my work has come to a stand still.  Your interest to participate in all co-curricular activities, the day you went for your first school trip to nagarjunasagar, the birthday parties that we hosted till the age of 9 and when on your 10th birthday you said you want to celebrate it by feeding the poor, your playtime with your friends and brother( also your fights), our huggies and pampers time where i hug tightly for a few minutes and pamper you both before going to bed, our quiz time with my tummy as buzzer, our story time with karadi tales, your fight time with your brother, your food tantrums and so many more.........  

You brought/ bring so much of joy to us, your smile, your maturity to handle thing and your profound talks always awe us.You are like a ray of sunshine for somebody who has lost his/her hopes on humanity.

I admire the way you make use of every opportunity that comes your way and light up everything and everyone you come in contact with. Your address seems to be your sweet smile for that is how you are identified with “S, the girl with that sweet smile”.

 You put in you heart and soul into whatever you do and to see you enjoy is the joy of my life.

We taught you to believe in yourself, we gave you wings to fly. We made it as strong as we could by providing you the best possible, so that you can take that steady and healthy soar towards your dreams and aspirations.

 But i know as you leave the nest and take your solo flight for your studies , I am sure you will face  the world boldly, confidently, excel and be happy..

.

The world might see you as a beautiful 17 year old but for me and appa you are untouched by time, You are our cute little princess occupying the throne forever in our heart.

Best wishes to you sweet heart, have a happy flight towards your dreams. May god always have his protecting hand around you. Love you loads that i have no vocabulary to write, tears are welling up my eyes. 

Sharing a happy moment:)

It is with great pride  that I share with you all one of my blessed moments in my life. My daughter scores 90% comfortably in her CBSE class 12 exams in science stream. The pride is not in the fact that she scored 90% but she scored it without any help from external private tuitions and participating in all the co-curricular activities like NCC, camping etc.

She also simultaneously prepared  for an  All india entrance exam which almost coincided with her pre-board exams and NCC exams. She was tested for  her creative, analytical, logical, mathematical, situational abilities and GK. In this triple round entrance  exam, she secured an all India merit rank of 369  and is now awaiting counseling for one of the premier design institute of India where only 30% admission is on merit. The rest are all lateral entry admission like management, NRI and other caste quota.  I am praying hard that she gets her choice of  location and branch of study.

Could’nt  rest till I shared this  news with you all, meanwhile I am still on digital detox with occasional cheats like this and frequent sinning by checking mails and whatsapp only;)  

 I am enjoying my time off routine, by connecting socially in the real world and meeting interesting people, had a great family  time in my home town  re-connecting with my long lost cousins who have relocated to India,  touching some river bank villages on a day's road trip, reading  physical books (among those I read I loved Sudha murty’s "House of cards") . And now another vacation is in the offing. Will share and record my  vacation stories once I resume regular blogging. 

A family treasure that I discovered

During their infancy and their growing years, my children have been lulled to sleep with two beautiful songs. One is on Sri  Shirdi Sai and the other is on Sri Ramana Maharshi. It was easier to calm the crying infants and put  them to sleep when these songs were sung.

My paternal family is devoted to both the spiritual gurus while my maternal family was closely associated and related to the latter.  I am not going into the details of that, but  this post is about how a song search led me to a discovery.

"Discovery of what?!" 

You ask?

  I will let you in....

The song on Sri  Ramana Maharshi which lulled my children to sleep is "Arunan uditha arunagiridanil azhagiya ramanaray vaarum.......". (Sorry for non tamils, the above line could be a tongue twister).

 The lilting melody, the beautiful lyrics and the lovely voice of my mom would lull my children to sleep.  Even now, many times, my teens ask me to sing the song while they go to sleep. This beautiful song  is  the morning raaga on saturdays especially for Ramana devotees called saturday parayanam.

I have the cassette of this song and it is in a different tune which sounds more like a bhajan. Around last week , I  turned to Google to search for the melodious tune i wanted. The search took me to Sri Ramana Maharshi's official site and once there I lost focus on what i was searching and drifted into the various links. One link took me to the books section and while i was on it, i found so many authors with common indian names along with many  foreign authors. 

For those of you  who do not know about the Maharshi. He is a great magnet for all those spiritual seekers. He has a huge spiritual following world wide. Even in the early and mid 20th century, when globalization and long distance communication or networking was not easy, he had  followers from all over the world with out any promotion. His silence was the only answer to all who came in search of him.  He has left no lineage and  his ashram even today claims neither  fame or money.

 Foremost and first among  his foreign followers  was Paul Brunton. The British journalist later influenced his author friend Somerset Maugham. Inspired by the saint,  Maugham  wrote the famous classic 'The razor's edge'.

Coming back to the post, I saw many common indian names and was also reading the gist, one author's name struck me especially the initials N R.....
The intro of the author was given stating that he was one of the early disciples and stayed in the Ramana cottage.

 Now , i guessed it could be my Great grand pa  but was not too sure since the Indian names were common. But,  I knew he was one of the earliest follower who felt  the magnetic and mesmerizing presence of  Sri Ramana Maharshi. He  had made Ramanasramam( Ramanas ashram) his home, post retirement as post master general and lived in one of the cottages close to the mandir.

But, did he write a book? I did'nt  know.

I called up my mom to find out and she said he did write a book, the book was named the "The Technique of Maha Yoga". 

My mom said that the book was written in the early 60's. My great grandpa( kollu thatha) would dictate through the night his experiences with Ramana and my grand pa(thatha) would type it on a "Hermes baby" small typewriter.  The book was published with the help of Ashram President T.N.Venkatraman  in 1962 and released at  Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan, Mylapore in chennai. 

My younger mama also confirmed the same and said that his father during the release of the book said it was a "Red letter day" for him to release his father's book on his spiritual guru. My mama has the copy of the first book in his huge library. I will check this collector's copy on my next visit. I can't anyways borrow since his library has a huge  label " Not for lending, Please."

I have now ordered the book and announced it to the 4th generation of my family on our family network Geni. Many of my cousins  are not even aware of this book , while the western world is lapping it up and writing online blogposts about it.

This book is popular with spiritual seekers  and has had many reprints and editions. It is  available not just on the official site but also on Amazon and other international sites and is more widely read in the west. This is how Amazon describes the book

Book Description

Publication Date: 19 August 2012

The slim book is indeed a gem,a boon for sadhakas of self-enquiry as taught by Bhagavan Ramana.Written in 1962 by a devotee who was for many years in the Presence of Ramana and earnestly practiced his teachings,this book a first-class sadhakas' manual,anticipates every question that is apt to arise in the mind of the practicant and answers them all in Bhagavan's own words,mostly culled from Talks with Sri Ramana Maharshi. Every sentence in this book,written in an utterly,simple,direct,clear,unpretentious language,comes out of the author's own sadhana and experience of Bhagavan's teaching.After reading this hard-to-put down down book..the reader is sure to be convinced that Atma Vidya,Self knowledge,as Ramana has assured us is easy indeed easy.However Ramana has stipulated ..One has to go Inward and investigate the source of I with a pure mind. This book tells us in Bhagavan's words how to purify and thus still our mind s the inevitable prelude to the dawn of Self Realization and how the obstacle of vasanas can surely be surmounted by sashaka's sincere,meticulous, sadhana which will earn him/her the Guru's Grace.

 During his very old age, this kollu thatha (GGPa)  left the ashram and  came back to  "Sri Ramana villa" ( my grand pa's house) to spend the last days of his life .  For us cousins, this villa was our vacation spot and so we visited every year for our annual vacation. On special days and ocassions,  it is a practiced norm in our household to fall at the  elders feet and seek their blessings. When it was time for us to return back home after the vacation, we would do namaskaram to the thatha and seek his blessings. Kollu Thatha would bless us with a crisp 2rs note. For us kids, 2Rs was such a huge amount those days, we would get kismi toffees at 5ps and cadbury five star at only 50ps.

 I was proud to know that my GGfather  had written a book on the world's most revered  spiritual guru. The mere mention of Sri Ramana Maharshi's  name sends an undercurrent of  his energy and calms my talking mind. His  ashram is a spiritual retreat for people like me, who are on a spiritual journey. More about  the rustic Ashram where peacocks and monkeys  walk with you  but that will be another post, some other time.

Some ageless gifts

This post was originally conceived for blogadda contest “ five gifts for your child to make his/her life secure”, but I missed the December deadline since I had other priorities. I decided to complete, edit and not stop at 5. I have a reason to publish it today. While the day is special because India celebrates Republic day, there is another reason for me to celebrate today . Before that, the post which many may find as incoherent ramblings of a parent.

All of us parents want to give a life of bliss for our children. There is a lot that we as parents change, give up happily to raise our children and make their life happy and secure. I believe we can raise them only till a point, after that the children are able to make their own decisions based on their upbringing. We can’t be around them all the time or keep them away from the harms/ shield them. I believe, The quality and quantitative moments that we spend during their infancy/ childhood/ adolescence and the value system with which we raise, is what will help them shape up into a strong individual. So,

It is the non-material gifts as parents we gift our children that lasts in their memory and has a positive effect on their lives.It is with great pride that I see both my teenagers emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially strong and his status always reads “ I am happy” .

Apart from the material gifts , we have gifted them lot of memories and non-material gifts and will always be gifting more. With just one purpose to have contentment, happiness and peace in whatever they do some of which I am listing here:

· To the best of our abilities, we are giving them a good upbringing to realize their fullest potential by helping them develop physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Our love has not pampered them but created them.

· As parents, we have inculcated in them the value that success does not mean being no. 1 and accumulating wealth, but it is in being healthy and finding happiness in the micro joys of life.

· We hav’nt taught them to run the rat race, but we have encouraged them to do their best and raise the bar each time they do their best.

· The best education ( school) that is possible within our means which gives them power to think and the freedom to use their intelligence.

· In today’s world, stress and pressure are indispensible, but they are spiritual and it is heartwarming to see them take deep breaths and meditate . Thanks to our prayer time and meditation time like gayatri chanting, deep breathing, thorpukaranam etc.,.

· Good exposure to co-curricular activities , outings to various workshops, trips to temples, historical, natural and cultural heritage sites have taught them learning does’nt happen in class room alone, for we believe horizontal exposure is the greatest classroom of life and will help them find their expertise.

· They have been taught the value of money. They don’t splurge much buckling to peer pressure and know the economics very well. Now at times, even when we miss to see the price tag, they check the value of the product against its worth.

· The yearly vacations they spent not at upmarket holiday resort or summer camp but at their grand parents home / GG parents home surrounded by loads of grand aunts, grand uncles , uncles, aunts and cousins are where they learnt the value of relationships. Today the relationship bonding is so strong that it takes care of their emotional stability.

· Encouraging friendships with peers have helped develop a good support system in friends  and has also  built a great network for them. Ofcouse, they know well how to handle bad peer pressure. They know that any activity which their parents would never have approved of is bad peer pressure.

· Communication skills is the need of the hour and as a parent it was our duty to make them proficient in the art of communication. We can only achieve what we have set to by being confident, vocal enough to voice our opinions fearlessly. Today, if they know the good from the bad it is because the communication channels between us have always been open. There is no awkwardness when we talk of taboo topics.

Of course, there are many more spheres where work is pending and many gifts will follow. Parenting that way is never ending, more so when they are in their adolescence. In this age, they are neither treated as young nor as adults. Being a child is easy; being an adult would be easy too. But, being an young adult is very challenging emotionally. As, parents we have to strive to be their emotional anchor.

One of the sweet-bitter moment of life is when your little ones grow up and outgrow us in all aspects of life. The little ones, other day who played , slept with you huddling and listening to stories and followed you like Mary’s little lamb over shoot you In height, stand over your shoulder , strike mature conversations about politics, life, technology etc As, I sit and type here I recollect their play time with...

Bakugans, Bey blades, Barbies, doll houses, cars, Caillous, Cliffords, Noddys, story books, CDs……..

Where did the years go?

FIFTEEN years!!!

OMG! Sunny boy turns 15 today!! Oh yes, we are celebrating his 15 years today with a home baked cake.

For him, his 17 year old sis has already set a precedent. Each year that went by must have added a layer of good foundation to make him such a sensible boy with terrific maturity and an amazing sense of humor.

It won’t be long when they leave the nest. In today’s scenario, where most children make up their mind to go for higher education and jobs to places away from home, this parenting is a short period. During the first few years they are completely ours. Once they fly away from the nest and build a life of their own, we become a part of their life. It is the value system which we gift that will help them steer from then on. These roots of our relationship if strong takes care of our child’s life even when we are away.