The concept of unconventional careers

Eversince, I quit my regular "9 to 5" job which was ages back, my well-wishers have made me feel like a pitiable character from one of those TV soaps. There have been times when I sat at home like those characters and wonder whether I work at all. This despite the fact that I worked for me and my family.

I have been bombarded with questions like "You don't work?", "Oh ok! You, freelance but why don't you work?". "Don't you feel bored?", "Oh, you sacrificed your career for motherhood?"Your studies have gone waste." and so many more in the last many years. And not just that, I have examples thrown at me like "Oh you see, there is Ms. X, Ms Y and so many more like them who balance family and career. You should'nt have quit. Work is very important for self-respect" etc.

And to all these questions my reactions vacillated between anger and amusement. My throat has gone dry explaining to them "I have not sacrificed, I am fine, doing well and truly contented, balancing my loving family and the freelancing work I heart. of course, they  scoff, "Work?! what work?" Is freelancing a work?!

All these were then.  But even after all these years, things hav'nt changed.......

Tell me, does being employed or career mean one has to tote a laptop, work in a corporate office, and work at odd hours. And does working mean only outside home? Can't one work from home? Work does'nt mean a conventional 9 to 5 job any more. Does it?

Today, there is a wide range of options and the word career or "Work" has undergone a huge shift in the last few years. The crux of the argument should be one should know to balance work and personal life and one should do what one loves without cribbing and ranting which in turn should'nt affect personal relationships.

Infact, one need not get stuck in their field of study or work in a job where they are stagnating, unless ofcourse if there is any personal compulsion. There are many examples where people have followed their heart in the past as well as present. Just imagine, if Shankar Mahadevan had not resigned from Oracle corp, would we be shuffling his songs on our ipod. There are many more in my own circle, who have taken sabbaticals, re-invented and launched themselves. One of my friend gave up her medical practice to start an investment consultancy, another who studied in a vernacular medium quit her teaching job went on to become one of the leading manager of a cosmetic brand through network marketing. Many have turned into entrepreneurs, one runs a yoga studio, another runs a library, another runs a counselling center, another is a baker. And for some what mattered was making a difference to the society. All these women quit their job so that they could work and balance a family and career in their own comfortable way.

I know outsourcing parenting is an option for many, but we wanted to be hands on parents and choose to quit our jobs. We hav'nt sacrificed any thing, we willingly quit our job and enjoyed the initial moments of our parenthood.

But who's to make them understand that these situations and choices can't be judged. What is acceptable to them may not be acceptable to me and vice versa.And now that the concept of career has a paradigm shift and there is a wide spectrum of options which were considered unconventional before, still the questions remain the same " Are you working?".

The situation has only got worse recently. Many a times, i meet a concerned well-wisher, their question to me is "Now that the children are big, what next?" and I am like "I am a freelancing grader...and i work....." and their reply to me "why don't you take up a job" and again the circle continues......

End of (an) odyssey?

A  chain book store of  reputed brand  closed shutters near my  home. This was one of the most famous book/ leisure  store which opened more than 70 stores across india.  It closed very fast in the west, east and northern region. But was doing good  business in the south till a few years ago.  Infact, more popular in Bangalore and Chennai  that whenever I visited these places for vacation,  I shopped for books and took my children for all those vacation workshops .

There was a time(10 years back)  when i was waiting for this store to open in my city and when its first store opened in  my city, I traveled 14 kms to buy books, boardgames and other multimedia like CDs, casettes, stationary. Some 7 years back, this shop opened its branch closer home and we were regulars there. But in the past one year, i realized i had'nt visited this store or any of those book stores. 

 These were not just book stores but were more than that.  They conducted many weekend workshops  of famous people like Rob of MAD fame, story telling sessions of kathalaya,  reading and other interactive sessions, so this book store and the other swanky  chain of book/leisure  stores in the malls  were our regular haunts when my children were young. Distance was never a matter when it came to book stores, we have traveled long distances to  attend the  children workshops, reading sessions at the various book shops.  They were  good  exposure to my children on the creative as well as learning fronts.  It made them socially interactive and they were good learning grounds for their life skills too as they made them bolder and confident to meet and approach people.

 It was  on a November 14^th, on children’ day there was a creative workshop, story session, magic show and a lego toy workshop for children in one of the book store inside a lifestyle store. My husband then was mostly on official tours, so   I took my children to the place and they thoroughly enjoyed the session and finally when it was  time to return. The last show was announced, the fancy dress contest. I was unaware of the contest so they had no chance of participating.   My daughter who was a very outgoing child and open to participating in such contest said “Ma, I want to participate too”.  I told her  she was in a pant and top and  this was no fancy dress  and  moved towards the coffee shop which was on the same floor to get them something to eat. They went back to watching the show.

The food order took pretty long and  I was waiting for them at the coffee table, my daughter came back to me and told, “But I could have been a newsreader. What matters is attitude ma, not just fancy dress.  You should have allowed me to go”   It surprised me to hear that from a 7 year old.   Such was the influence of these bookstores on many children.    The creative contests most of these shops threw were instant topics/ themes and my children have won many drawing , creative writing contests at not just here, even in Chennai and Bangalore.

The malls which we went to are still there, but the book shop floors of all these malls have disappeared or shrunk.  Similarly many libraries and stand alone book stores  have also closed shutters.

They were doing good business till a couple of years ago. Then what brought the curtains down ?

Is it the reading interest that is on wane or is it the online stores and ebooks?

If these are the reasons, then sadly  I am one of the contributor ,  guilty of not reading books , purchasing online and reading on a flickering screen.  

That's an arduous journey, ISRO. Congratulations!!

 During their initial days when infrastructure was not available they have made use of cycles to ferry their rockets. They converted a church into control room, the bishop’s house as office, a bicycle to ferry rockets and naked eyes to track the smoke plume at Thumba in Kerala.  They even converted a Toilet into a data receiving centre for their first satellite aryabhata at Bangalore.

The Indian space odyssey has come a long way to launching lunar probes, working on a mars mission and ferrying foreign satellites up for a fee. Today they have successfully launched their 100th mission.

I am extremely proud to have designed some of their outsourced  onboard double layered PCB's(between 92-94) for  ISTRAC, SAC and VSSC. 

That's an arduous journey, ISRO.  Two thumbs up to your space odyssey and Congratulations on the milestone.

Adding dignity and grace to old age

We had a gardener couple working in our condominium. They were senior citizens who went about their work diligently. Recently, the maintenance was outsourced to a different company and so many changes took place. Many  inefficient employees were sacked off and new ones were recruited. The old couple also fell victim to this trade off. As always, the complex which has many people with different views started pouring their thoughts on our community portal.  Some felt that though old they were the only people who worked  sincerely. Some felt, they were old and could not tend to the plants and could not be given hardwork like spading, turning the soil etc( this voice was unfortunately raised by senior citizens). Overall, there  was lot of communication back and forth regarding this issue on our site.

Finally, a consensus was reached, where all the residents decided to offer 25rs per flat each month.  The money thus collected could be given to the couple like a pension.

But, the self respecting poor old couple refused the amount stating that they were fit and can continue to earn a living for as long as they were productive. They had children who offered them help but they preffered to work and be independent. It is not the case with these couples alone. Many senior citizens themselves don’t want to live with their working children and prefer to be independent.  I have seen the senior citizens of my own complex whose children are settled abroad and they prefer to make short visits rather than stay there longer. The average reason is here. Infact, i had made a post about many of them here.

 Today in Indian society, the retirement age is fixed at 58 or 60. Government or non-government, nobody employs the old even if they are physically fit and can be productive.  While they are young and energetic, they enjoy the benefits of the perks their jobs offer. Some of them may be having the additional perks of a driver, orderly, helper, cook etc. With old age and retirement all these benefits are gone and moreover with most families disintegrating into nuclear families, there is no choice but for the old to be emotionally, physically and financially independent.  The irony is when one is old they are in need of all these perks and not when they are young.

According to statistics, the average life span of an Indian is 65 and thanks to medical advancement it is now common for people to live beyond 80 years.  Easily, twenty years after retirement.  With the rising inflation, they have to take care of themselves with the meager pension or with the retirement benefits for the approximate next 20 years. In case, of any medical emergency it would be a huge financial strain for them. (Insurance takes care only for major hospitalization)

Most of these elders of today’s generation are with single or two children, who are employed in most cases in some other part of the country or world. Even if they stayed in the same house, their child and their spouse would be working, what with most homes having dual incomes and the working children unable  to offer emotional support due to work pressures.  In some cases, of course they end up as parents for the second time taking care of their grandchildren. There is no proper support system to take care of them. Can’t blame the children either. It is the question of survival and they have their own occupational demands. If they don’t work who will secure their lives?

As long as the elders are physically fit and ready to work, why should the retirement age be fixed?  Moreover as long as one works, they are physically and mentally fit.  They are also occupied with no time to brood.  And for those of them, who are unable to work, there must be recreation centres. I remember my uncle telling me that a  community van comes and picks up all the senior citizen (in wood bridge, New Jersey) and they congregate at a recreation centre where the elders speak to each other and indulge in talk therapy, counselling, play bridge, read books, learn new things like networking, creative writing  etc., They have time to pursue their hobbies.  This could be a huge emotional support for these people while their children are at work. And the children can also be happy while their parents are happy, else the thought of elderly parents feeling bored at home gnaws their mind.

I think like in many advanced countries, for the issueless couples and all those who are ditched by the children or unable to be independent and feel insecure in their old age,  we should  also be open to the retirement homes concept. Where people of similar age live together and in case of a medical emergency , they don’t have to wait for their son or daughter who is away on a tour to some other corner of the world. These houses which are designed with  huge windows and come with all geriatric facilities would be convenient for these people. Every necessity like a market, recreation center, place of worship, doctor’s care are within the reach of elders.  In case, of any medical emergency, the huge windows or  alarm bell of these homes  sounds the community center and they are picked to the nearby health center in no time by the maintenance staff.

In India, retirement homes are picking up in some major cities and tier II cities, but these are mostly habitat  for NRI parents. At more affordable or subsidized rates and with basic facilities these should be accessible to most  elders and BPL families like the gardener couple. Why not the government allocate time and money and offer senior citizen concessions?  After all, we will be reaching there  after some years, won’t we? I hope  by then, the infrastructure and facilities for senior citizens  will be structured and organized.

Don't miss this 1.5 minute movie  "Ageing: Beyond old sterotypes" by United nations TV and WHO Check this movie here.

of dreams and aspirations

While reading the morning paper found PT Usha’ photograph with her protégé.  The sprint queen who came from a nondescript village and practiced on the beaches to miss the Olympics medal just by a whisker.  Extreme hardwork, determination, training from her coach and most important of them all - encouragement from her family must have turned this Payyoli girl to a golden girl of India.

Her photo in the newspaper brought my thoughts to my parent’s neighbor whom I met in the summer gone by. This beautiful, tall girl all of 20 years ismother of two naughty kids aged 4 and 2.  She was born to well to do farmers in a small village near Salem.  When I first met her at my parents place, I could sense the maturity beyond her chronological age.  Gradually, I started breaking the ice.  During each conversation, I found she was not just beautiful and matured but knowledgeable too.  She was very good with practical jobs like fixing wooden things, electrical wires, shelling tender coconuts, handling people, driving two and four wheeler etc.

When I questioned how she could do so many jobs. She told me she would help her parents in the farm before going to school and that she would help her mother carry 50 kgs of flowers on her two wheeler to the market.

During our course of  meetings which happened pretty often due to frequent power cuts.  The Frequent power cuts brought all the neighbors in our colony out and most of them came (across ages 2 to 74) to my parents compound to form a gossip session.

During those sessions, she would often tell us that she wanted to study further but her parents and grandparents would not allow her to continue. She was the best athlete of her school and she was asked to represent her school in district level javelin throw, shot put and running race. But her conservative parents refused to send her for any sport and later even to school.    Her parents and grandmother instead of sending her to district level games decided to get her married to a known boy in their community. The marriage was for convenience to bring two distant families together.  Resisting her parent’s wishes only made the girl purple since her father whipped her with neem canes she said.  So midway through her tenth standard at the age of 14 she was married to a man 12 years her senior.

Through the way she spoke and her inquisitiveness, i could sense she wanted to live her dream. She wanted to be an athlete but, now she satisfies herself  by playing badminton.  Though she does not read or write English, she has the thirst to learn the language and  attempts to speak.  She wanted to learn so many things. Join courses especially those conducted by sewa kendras and more than anything, she has that fire in her to do something.  But family commitments and discouragement withheld her dreams. Her husband is also sweet natured and a nice person but perhaps he felt that she was  young and it was his way of shielding her from the world. He doesn’t want her to continue her studies.  Whenever she broaches the topic, he tells her to get permission from her parents, which she says will never happen.

Whatever be their problem, I was only thinking there could be so many Karthikas in this world who are good at sports, studies etc.,who had many dreams and aspirations,  but perhaps no encouragement. If only they were given encouragement, opportunities and infrastructure, perhaps  they too would shine in the medals tally like the Payyoli girl . Who knows?

Often my thoughts are disturbed by this girl.  I often think of her while I go about my work. She is the same girl whom I wrote about, who wants to admit her children in an International school. Perhaps she will realize her dreams through her children.

By the way, Where is  Ilavazhagi?

A realisation at a boot camp

As she   got the  enrollment form  for the 10 day  mock  boot camp signed from us,  I knew the day for her to embark for the camp was not far away. It would be a good exposure for her to experience the guidance under the military wing and learn things which were not part of a prescribed school curriculum.  I was worried about the rough conditions she would have to endure like food ,shelter and clothing. They have to live under the canvas tents come rain or shine, eat the food cooked in the community kitchen,  wash their clothes, fill water, clean the tents which was amidst some wild creepies and crawlies.

 Memories of my little girl  being fussed over with the best of  food and putting her to bed with bolsters by her side for comfort and other such cuddling and pampering played through my mind.  Must she  endure all the discomforts?

But both father and daughter convinced me that it would be an unique experience for her and these are rare opportunities. The next step was to shop for the uniform and boots specially available at the cantonment stores. As men with camouflaged dress  embellished with stars on the shoulders and DMS shoes strolled the streets and walked in and out of many stores.  I did realize that they were the reason we all slept tightly in the night  while they served at the borders and defended us from our enemies, but felt nothing more than that.   They had chosen their vocation because of their passion to serve the country and out of their own choice. Nobody forced them right?

 The d-day dawned and we dropped her at the camp site  where nearly 500 children from various schools and colleges across the city had gathered and across all ages too. From age 10- age 16.We were told we had an opportunity to meet her every evening  and she may get an outpass if necessary one of those days.

Since the camp site was closer home we had the added  advantage of meeting her daily in the evening, I visited her in the evening.  The first day I saw my daughter and her friends , the mommy strings in my heart tugged , though my strong but fragile child did not cry, I could sense the once happy go lucky girl  was unhappy with the rough and tough environment and home sick. They were unhappy with the food, the shelter and they were taught so many tough things like rifle handling,shooting, drill parade and other sports under the harsh sun. They also took turns to do watch man work outside the camp for two hours to secure their camping tent. The children used to comforts(not luxurious comforts though) of life could not take the harshness  of the training.

My anxiety levels grew and I told my husband , we must withdraw her  that evening but she refused to give up.  From next day on I and her friends mom decided to take some food so that they would be comfortable.  The days we did not take the food, they have starved .

Ten days later, now my daughter tells me  “Nee edhu kuduthalum saapdiren, Ma”( whatever you give, I’ll eat ma)  and she says she has become adept at crisis management. The days it rained they had to  pool everything into their camp and strap it up. They had to do this all in no time and rush to the government school close by to spend their nights. Many a times, they could’nt bathe and ate sooka rotis and the subzis they disliked. They have got up at odd hours to secure their tent.  They were involved in community work and have lived without TV or radio. They have retired to bed at 7.30 inside their dark tents only to getup at stroke of four in the morning. Now she says, it is an experience she would like to go through again.

Many a times I’ve seen on TV and movies how the men of navy, army and Airforce have served our nation putting their lives at risk. I’ve heard many stories from my grand uncle  who was with the army and travelled all the way from Burma to India by foot along with other soldiers. All through the journey he had just 3 Kim bottles(similar to Horlicks)  in his knapsack to replenish themselves and they have walked for seven days through jungles and plains.  I’ve heard stories from my friends who are army officers and naval officers wives who are my neighbours.  One friend told me how she had gone to her parents home to deliver the child while her husband was laying roads during the Kargil war and she was worried about her husband’s return all the time. How their husbands never ate on many days and did not have bath . They don’t know from where the next gun shot would arrive. Many a  stories from so many army wives and naval officer’swives.

My daughter was not even in such a situation, just a mock camp organized by her school and still I felt like swooping her in my arms and taking her away from the camp.

 What emotions must the family of these people  army, navy and airforce be hosting?  Those of pride, worry, fear. Would they be stressed?   Would they be worried about their husbands or sons/daughters  during war time? Would they take pride? Would they be anxious about their return? Would they be impatiently waiting for their call? Would they fear about their lives? Would they be a source of strength, inspire and motivate them? So many questions…….. only they know the answer. So many feelings……. only they endure.

Now,  did  I say somewhere  in the above paragraphs, that I did not feel much for them. I’ve changed my mind…….

Next time I see those men with those stars in the shoulders, I know those two stars are worth a million in the sky and next time those wives narrate the stories   I would understand better.

All that I can do for these people is just dedicate this post.  No today is not army day or navy day… today is the day I changed my mind and really felt for these men and women in uniform.

  If only the men who induced wars  realized and empathized the mental turmoil of all those men in uniform and their families  perhaps there would be  peace and not  war  and so many more families would be happy. 

If only we listened to this prayer

A news report in TOI student edition left a beautiful feeling in me recently. The news report read that a first grade student (child of 5 or6 years )went and hugged a tree refusing to allow the concerned authorities to fell the tree. The  child told the authorities that his teacher in school had told him that  trees felled mindlessly could lead to less rains and warm the planet, so he went and hugged the tree.  How sweet is that! ( The trees were felled to raise metro piers)

If only all the people who cut the trees had or were  stopped  by a soft touch like that, perhaps the world would be a better place to live in.

Another mindless work which shook me recently was the mining of the River cauvery.  As it is the  summers had left the sand dry with no clue of water, the truck drivers drove their vehicles  and were mining the sand. Illegal or legal, I don't know but it definitely left a sad feeling in  me. For I  have passed through the swelling rivers in the past and perhaps next time when i go , i would'nt be surprised to see some apartments or high rise spring up.

 Many  beautiful mango orchards have given way to the apartment culture on the banks of this river at SriRangam in Trichy district.

Perhaps dense  green forest, swelling blue  rivers, clean crisp air and beautiful flora and fauna could all become a part of  folklore in the near future.

Here is a beautiful prayer I read in Lotus pond, a lung space in Banjara hills Hyderabad. .( click on it to read)

                                                    Hear my prayer, Destroy me not!!!

    Dry  River Cauvery in the summer of  2012 at a place called Thaikal( thanjavur dist).  This place is also famous for river grass mats. In the foreground between the bridge beams you see the grass being dried on the bed for weaving into mats

These glorious rivers whose journey opens up many cultures, beliefs and lifestyles are happily destroyed by some mindless beings in the name of human progress. 

If only we listened to their prayers...

Schooling redefined

Gone are the days when schools had the middle name of public, model or high. Most schools today function with the middle name of concept, global, world or  international.

Many  NRI’s  returning back to india ,  the children of diplomats and expatriates who are on constant move,  prefer to admit their children in such schools. Our own desi  MNC parents or parents from affluent family  who want their children to experience and learn from  the microcosm of the world  find international school a best bet for their wards. 

 These international schools offer excellent infrastructure, experienced  international  teaching faculty, lays emphasis on project work and facilitates exploring on your own. It does not encourage by rote learning. Another good feature is, it has a  good global student community,  student teacher ratio of anywhere between 15:1 and 25:1 and  is recognized internationally by IGCSE ,IBDP  or CIE for higher classes.  Such  real international schools implement the certifications well and helps these children adapt whenever their parents gets transferred across the globe.

Fair enough till now, but what is not fair is that  almost many such international schools which have mushroomed recently  are run by business men who don’t offer the above certification, infrastructure or faculty. Infact they offer the  CBSE curriculum and easily claim that they offer CBSE syllabus through international methods(whatever that means). Many gullible parents admit their children in such schools were money is minted  from the parents. These schools claim that they will be introducing the international curriculum shortly.

Very recently I met an  upper middle class parent who had  done just her X from a village school.  She was very keen to admit her son in a recently  opened international school and I could easily the dream for her son in her eyes.  She could not be educated and she wanted her son to go to this international school.    Curious to find what the school offered , I posed myself as a candidate for teaching in that school ( I did’nt even belong to that city  and am not a qualified teacher). Initially the man in his 60’s refused saying there was no vacancy since it is a startup school and most teachers had been recruited.  Nevertheless  he told  me to be seated while he was on a telecon and told me to leave my CV so that he could accommodate me when a need arises. While sitting there I noticed that a list of  the recruited teachers ( with their degrees)had been pasted on the notice board. Not even one teacher had an international degree certification or training. ( I too believe that attitude and aptitude for teaching is more important than a gold medal or a training)

Later when I spoke to the man, I found that  he a  retired government official of the education department had been  assigned the task of recruiting teachers.  His native accented English did not match the name of the school.   Here,  I am not using English as a yardstick, but when you quote exorbitant sum as fees for the tag international, then most parents would definitely expect that  the fee should match the standard.  Atleast that is definitely a  pre-requisite  to recruit teachers for an international school.

HE also told me that the school is run by his friend, a  business man.  When I enquired if the school followed the IGCSE or IBDP curriculum. He said, “ No, the international tag is just to distinguish us from other schools. You see, there are too many schools now and if we have to stand up against them, we have to have an identity and that is why the name international.”  I  was’nt  shocked because you can judge whether a school is international or not by seeing the building,  the name( most often it is named after their grandparent, religious guru or their children) the working staff etc.,  I only had  appreciation for the man who atleast admitted the truth.

I immediately alerted that rich young mom and told her to  check what  international standards they offer  before  she coughs up the indecent money and not to get carried away by the shining floors and swimming pool. This school had a beautiful structure but  did not even have an impressive campus and was located bang in the middle of a residential locality sharing its compound with a temple.

 Such is the plight of  education imparted. Parents too announce in social circles that their ward attends a global or international school while the curriculum is Indian. Sadly they shell out  their hard earned money for the tag international.( It costs anywhere between 3-8 lakhs per year in a real international school atleast for class XI).

 Next time  young parents when you look out for international school check their website for information , don’t subscribe  to  the  shiny mirrored surfaces, ac  rooms,  swimming pool, tennis courts ,the plush lobby and the modern glass and chrome structure. Instead find out if they  really offer the  international curriculum. After all  we put in a lot of hardwork and sacrifice family hours  to earn our money.  Don’t we?  Many of them even avail educational loans for their children's education.

I have nothing against the genuine international schools which acts as a springboard for many students aiming for  ivy league schools, but definitely against the so called  ‘International’ schools which have mushroomed just to fill in the kitties of  self centered business men.

(These are my views and experiences based on my surroundings and may differ for many people.)

Connecting to my roots

                            


An unknown joy  consumes me whenever I pass through or hear the name of the town Mayavaram (now called Mayiladuthurai) in Southern Tamilnadu.  And  when I recently passed through this small town on the banks of River Cauvery, the joy surfed up again. The reason for the  joy - this is the ancestral  town of my father.  

Edakkudi , 3 kms from Mayavaram literally belonged to my father’s ancestors.   The village belonged to the descendents of one person.  Slowly mobility and opportunities disintegrated this villagers in agraharams to different parts of the world  and my Great grandfather moved to Trichy to join the police service and my own grandfather’s  engineering  ambition  moved him to Bangalore and  slowly we disconnected from our roots .  Now, when I pass through that town it gives me some unexplainable joy.

Mobility in communication and transportation has uprooted us from our roots and provided us with individual freedom and more global opportunities.  Today most of us  are geographically scattered from our roots. This  disintegrated the joint family system  in the past  and gave rise to nuclear family. Today even this  has disintegrated further with members of the same family (husband and wife) working at different locations.  With the world growing materialistic and individualistic  today long distance families  has become the norm.  With education and work obligations stationing them at different places, today’s  children and siblings  study or are  employed elsewhere away from home.  

Most of us slowly  adapt ourselves to the new environment, culture and language  gradually losing  ties  with our  roots , family and community .  Today we have an aunt, sibling or  any relative for that matter in some far away piece of land. At times of crisis or happiness we don’t emotionally bond,  you do not have that brother or sister relative to share your joys or sorrows with their physical presence. ( it is not possible to meet frequently)

When elders in the family insist on attending family functions, visiting  family deity, ancestral deity  and observing traditions and rituals, most of us dismiss them with   excuses citing professional and domestic obligations. The pressures of the competitive life  and professional necessities leaves no opportunity to attend many family functions or temples. There is a great demand on our time and energy.  Many a times we find ourselves being  pushed and pulled in all directions due to the rat race.  

   Now,  I feel these functions, rituals and  traditions  or temple visits were designed  to bind the family together and keep us connected to our roots . These  getogethers or functions show us how as relatives we are interdependent, help each other and  bond over food, customs  and traditions and helps foster a sense of oneness and  security. Like they say ‘The family that eats together stays together’. The physical  communication , face to face conversations help us to make good  memories. Perhaps these  help us to maintain sanity  in this world where there are many stressors.  When we do feel  low these memories act as a  destressor and warms up our heart.  These relationships are like those comforters of security   at times of crisis be it health, monetary or some other emergency or simply the thought you have somebody to lean your shoulder on  peps you up and helps face the world with more strength.

Of course. arguing that we are connected through technological network is fine, but that is mostly thorough  virtual  communication, texting and using emoticons and not genuine emotions. As a part of evolution, may be we would lose our emotional quotient and become more like a robot if we did this often.

I experienced this emotional bonding  when we recently conducted  a family function (my son’s thread ceremony)  by observing  traditions and rituals.  The family  ties were strengthened when relatives from many places gathered together. It was a joy to see the gennext bond and exchange their contacts. We were glad we heeded our elder’s advice  and choose a traditional ceremony  close to our roots at Neyveli  over a convention hall  affair in Hyderabad. 

                            A new temple at Govindapuram enroute Mayavaram

Together we can make a difference

Everyday we release or dump huge amounts of hazardous wastes into    the environment.Chemicals in the form of old batteries, medicines, shoe polish, paint tins, used oil, hair washes, floor cleaners, body washes, mosquito repellants, fogging are some house hold waste. Plastic, pesticide, chemical, metal, rubber, Styrofoam, wastes from waste treatment plants, fire, automobiles, e-waste are sources of industrial waste. Not to forget the hospital waste and the gases that are released into the air like CFC which give raise to terms like smog, acid rain, green house effect, global warming, carbon foot prints, ozone depletion etc.,

In turn, ‘Go green’, eco warrior, eco friendly, environment conscious, pollution, global warming, ozone depletion, reduce,recycle, reuse, organic, green prints are some of the words in most people’s lips today to set our world right back on green path.

Given a magic wand to change some things around me, I would like to go back to those days when our life was surrounded by nature and we practiced green ways in our daily life…. Those days when the world was less populated, polluted and we were driven less by technology. 

•  When things like provisions came wrapped in newpapers and jute thread and not in plastic wrapper
•    Vessels were washed with coconut fibre ,charcoal/sand/ rice flour and not in chemical based dishwashers and artificial scrubs.
•  Food parcel came in plaintain leaves and not in disposable plastic containers.
•  Milk came in sterilized, refillable bottles and not in plastic covers.
•   Hairwash ,bodywash, floor cleaners, detergents were made of herbal ingredients and used less  inorganic chemicals.
• Breeze and cool air came naturally from the abundant trees surrounding us and not from coolers and Airconditioners.
• Water and vegetables were stored in matkas and not refridgerators.
• Fruits were ripened naturally and not injected with chemical ripeners.
• Vegetables could be washed and used and not soaked in Potassium permanganate to knock off the pesticides.
• Sparkling pure water came in taps and not through waterpurifers and ISI bottled water.
• Life was simple with no machines/gadgets to assist and people still had time called ‘Leisure’ after work. Today with gizmos, gadgets and appliances which warm up the globe, we still have no time to stand and stare.
• People cycled, walked or used buses and bikes to work, less automobiles were on the road.
• Traffic jams on roads were unheard of and our jams were restricted to bread.

             And so many many more….. I am leaving this list incomplete………….

  This  post is in response to the prompt promoted by Indibloggers  'Time to change’

   I would like to change the world to leave green prints and get back to a beautiful world by saving our fragile environment. I know most of the above points cannot be practical like it is not practical to wash teflon coated vessels or chinaware with mud and fibre but little changes like avoiding plastic covers and buying organic products can be practized.   Like Mahatma Gandhi said: "Be the change you want to see in the world."

 I made a beginning 4 years ago to discard all the drywastes like metals, paper waste, plastic covers like biscuit wrappers, chocolate wrappers, milk covers etc in the ITC- Ramky initiative WOW ( Wealth out of waste). They collect the wastes and recycle them in their Bhadrachalam plant to make recycled paper and plastic. 

Together we can make small changes to make this world a better place , what say?

 After all, we owe it to the gen next.

'Maid'en woes

One of the major woes,  most of us in cities face is that of maid attrition.  Most of us live in nuclear families where we  juggle many tasks.  Some of  us rely on supporting service providers like maids, dhobis, car cleaners, drivers, child caretakers etc.

Healthy or unhealthy practice, I don’t know, but many of us are so dependent on  them thinking that these people make our lives less stressful, but they at times turn us into nervous wrecks.

First and foremost problem,  it is hard to find   a maid, when the demand  for them is plenty like in an multistoreyed apartment.  Then screening their antecedents for cheating, stealing etc., After all these , they have to  look decent and  clean , work without throwing any fuss or taking leave often.

 Thankfully, I’ve a servant who is clean, reliable, punctual and works  with me for the past 3 years(touché wood). My only problem is when she goes to her native place. Finding a substitute for me is a big ordeal. Actually I’m dependent on her only for sweeping, mopping, cleaning wash rooms and school uniforms  ( my son goes to play football in white dress and comes back in brown dress). She does’nt complain or sulk when she washes his shoes or clothes.

Unfortunately not many of them are fortunate, especially many of my full time working friends have a tough time. They have hired the maids from agencies.  There was this instance with my friend who was a Punjabi and who hired a maid/baby sitter  from an agency. The maid was Bengali and she could not eat the rotis  made by my Punjabi friend, so before leaving to work she  specially cooked rice for her maid. When she had no time to cook rice, she gave rotis for her. She sulked and complained to the agency that she would’nt work in a house which served rotis for her. All these when she was’nt even sure at work that the baby sitter was taking proper care of her 2 year old, because her baby  once broke his nose when he fell from the cot while his baby sitter was on a phone call and she had to rush home from work.

Another friend who had brought a cook and a maid from a destitute home from her home town Cuttack was slapped by her cook with whom she already had a cold war. YES, YES, you read it right. the cook slapped her employer.

 The reason for the slap - My friend had asked her cook why she had’nt made the regular mashed potatoes for her 3 year old. The cook replied ‘No stock’.   My angry friend retorted back telling she should have atleast informed her and in return she got slapped and told her it is not her duty to keep stock of the pantry. My friend did  the next best thing. Put her on a flight back home. When I asked her why she wasted  money on flight, she said the trains were booked and  she wanted the cook to leave as early as possible, as seeing her face would only escalate her BP.  She  had employed her since she was a divorced woman and had been recommended by her parents. In return she was slapped.


Well if these are some special case with full time maids, part time are no different. Many of my friends who depend on them for most chores like chopping vegetables, dusting, atta kneading ,folding clothes etc., their life comes to a standstill when the maids go on unannounced holiday to watch chiranjeevi’s first day first show movie or for chit parties( like kitty parties).

Today , It is easy to attend an interview and get placed in a company, but their queries have to be answered  politely, patiently and with a permanent smile plastered on your face.

The questions they ask us before being placed is:

Why did the old 'bhai' leave?

Ghar me kitney log hain?( How many members in the family) How is this relevant to sweeping and mopping, I still don’t know, but my friend answered one and half, meaning she and her 12 year old daughter , while her husband is mostly on tour)

Bartan kitney girenge?( fair enough, more vessels means more work)

Kapdey sukhana ke liye washing machine or hum ko hi karna padega?
( meaning should we wring the clothes for drying or will you put in spinner)

Nalgaru unnara? ledu amma, naku  iddaru  vunda illu kavala( 4 Persons? No madam, I work only in houses where there are couples. There will be less work in retired couple’s house or newly married  couple’s  or working couples house.  Their validation for this, bacchon ki ghar mein bahut kaam hota hain.  ( what do we parents with children do? of course, shell out extra money)

After  passing the interview, when they are hired and  start working, comes the attrition problem, where the maids turn their priorities towards some new families which have shifted  into the complex and offer more to work and give in kind, free ride in cars to markets, outings, advance etc.,

It takes lot of tact to retain a maid.

All these reminds me of my Grandparents maid Amirtham  in Mylapore, Chennai. She worked for nearly 45 years. Due to old age, when she could’nt work any more she was given monthly pension by my grandparents. There is not a person in our extended family who does not know Amirtham and they enquire about her to this day even after 5 years of her passing over.

They don’t come like her any more/ they are very rare.

Ofcourse,  it is also important to treat them well.  Take my maid for instance, she was offered more money to work in  a house. She worked for just a week there and refused to work there any more.  When the lady questioned , why she was'nt reporting, the answer she got  was a simple  ‘Naccha ledu’( did’nt like). They can choose, not us.

Earning wise, I would’nt be surprised If one day they become tax payers, especially in my complex , my dhobi walla comes with ipods plugged in his ears and a trendier mobile phone. When questioned why he does’nt come and pick clothes regularly. “Bahut kaam hai, madam. Timeich nahin hain”.
They even advise us to wear synthetic clothes , since cotton clothes requires to be pressed.

My maid took two months leave because she was constructing a house in her native.

I can keep on adding to this list about the car driver who sends SMS at the last minute,stating he would’nt report to work that day or about the car cleaner who absents for 4 days and talks about labour laws or about the child’s caretaker who keeps talking to other maids in the park while the child she is supposed to take care of is rolling the feeding bottle in the sand pit and then popping it into his mouth and the list will go on. 
  
All the above woes are the reason why I stopped delegating work( except cleaning because of my spondylitis) , I would rather do my own work  and depend less on these people. Now I have to juggle between  house hold chores, cooking, shopping, parenting, freelancing,  fitness routine etc.,

No leisure. I've bargained it for some mental peace.

From Grassroots to Galaxies

I walk through the vegetable market yard  to reach my fitness center which is 3.2 kms from my home. Daily truck loads of farm fresh veggies packed with fresh foliage are offloaded in the wholesale vegetable market yard, it is then  auctioned or sold in bulk  to retailers who sell their stocks in the various super markets across the city or on their push carts or little kirana shops.

 Knowing very well that the stocks were sold in multiples of 10 or 100 Kgs, I never bothered to find the veggie rates till the day I watched  news on potato growers on NDTV. The news   showed farmers of Punjab driving their trucks over potatoes on the roads. The reason being they were offered just re 1 /kg from the Government.

Subsequently many such news followed in the newspapers that tomato growers of AndhraPradesh played ‘tomatino fest’ , not with joy but seething with anger because they too were offered Re 1 per kg.

That’s when curiosity got the better of me and one day I tried to check the rates of the vegetables at the yard, at the nearby retail vegetable market( where veggies are supposed to be priced less) and in other supermarkets.

The yard rate of potatoes were Rs 7/kg, in the nearby retail  market was 10-12 and the supermarket quoted 20rs/kg( 20 times more than what was offered to the farmers). Similarly green peas were sold at Rs. 10/kg at the yard ,Rs 15-17 at the nearby market and at the supermarkets anywhere between 40-50/KG. carrots again at 7, 20 and 32 respectively, Okra at 10,24, and 40. 

The veggie rates almost multiplied anywhere between 4-10 times from the grassroot level(farmers) by the time it reached the consumers. It is fair enough for supermarkets to an extent, that some amount of money can be attributed to overheads like transportation, coldstorage, supermarket rent etc., but even the poor  hardworking farmer after  year long work of tilling, ploughing, sowing, irrigating and toiling under the hot sun  with sweat and blood, bank loans,  fertilizer expense has his overheads. He too deserves his due.

 No wonder ,  they direct the ire towards towards the vegetables grown.Today’s news reads that farmers of Guntur burn dry red chillies in the yard. They are sadly burning and crushing their own hardwork. 

The past few days news papers also report that this is happening with paddy, wheat etc… Isn’t this  a criminal waste in a country where 42% of the children are supposed to be malnourished.  No, I don’t blame the farmers here  and we too buy veggies at rates which spiral towards galaxies.
Most of the consumers who are  occupied with their personal and professional work through the week find it tiresome to walk through the veggie market and buy veggies, so many of them  try to source them from supermarkets where shopping is a pleasure or in our own apartment complex  on sundays, where a branded company  known for cigarettes,lifestyle products and food products sells veggies at  exorbitant rates. Every body complains about this but who has a choice?


After all these, I am not spelling who should take control but definitely not a winning situation either for the farmers or for the consumers  like us, but of course, the middlemen are the sure shot winners who guzzle and laugh their way to the banks without any hardwork. 

If you have missed the news check out the potatino fest of the punjab farmers, similarly andhra farmers too played tomatino. 

May their tribe increase!!!

There is a tribe which silently serves, champions and crusades for the children of the lesser god by  donating all their wealth, time and shower them with their unconditional love and care.  
They selflessly help the society by caring for the underprivileged  and their work definitely needs  help and a wider reach. Listing  two of them here which have had a great impact on me.
The first in the list is  Mr. Vidyakar  and his Udavum Karangal( helping hands) an NGO based out of chennai, whose advertisements seeking volunteers and donations have always caught my attention.


Udavum Karangal - Because everyone deserves a home!

Udavum Karangal (Helping Hands) is a registered, non-governmental, non-religious and non-profit social service organization, established in 1983, with the sole objective of serving people in need.Life surprises you when you are least prepared for it. For Mr.Vidyaakar who was running a small community centre in the slums of NSK Nagar, surprise came in a ragged bundle of clothes. Within it was a frail child crying his heart out and reaching out to him with his puny fingers. When he gave his hand for the little boy to hold, it was the beginning of an ardent journey. Udavum Karangal (Helping hands) was thus born to help anyone who needs a hand to stand and to this day, it continues to give hope where there exists none.

Udavum Karangal believes that everyone deserves to be loved. Till date, there have been around 2000 unfortunate brethren from new born babies to dying destitutes who have found a home here. The centre provides individualized services - treatment, care, rehabilitation and education.


Anything i write more about this would only be a repeat of their website so click on that to know more. courtesy: Udavum karangal

The second  NGO in  my list is  CNN hero Narayanan Krishnan and his Akshaya trust. I first heard and saw his interview on TV when he was shortlisted as one of the Top ten CNN heroes for world. His video clippings feeding the needy was all over the social networking sites and on national networks  and moved many to tears. 

In 2002, Narayanan Krishnan, a gifted young chef from Madurai, India, was working for an exclusive hotel group preparing haute cuisine for the ultra-rich. But when he went home to Madurai to visit his family, something he saw shocked him to his core.“I saw a very old man eating his own human waste for food,"

Krishnan knew he couldn’t go back to the gourmet restaurants he’d been working in when his own countrymen were starving to death. So he decided to stay in India and began fixing meals for that man, and for the countless others who could not care for themselves.

The following year, he founded the nonprofit group Akshaya Trust. The organization is named from the “Akshaya bowl” from Hindu mythology, a bottomless inexhaustible bowl that can feed the hungry forever—just as Krishnan hopes his group will do.

Each morning, Krishnan and his team rise at 4 AM, and seek out the homeless throughout a 123-mile radius, armed with packets of hot vegetarian meals that Krishnan has prepared by hand. He brings the meals to a crowd of about 400 regulars, and gives them free haircuts and beard trims when they need it. In the years since starting the nonprofit, he’s served over 1.2 million meals.

His recipients are nearly all mentally ill, and do not have the capacity to thank him. Nonetheless, Krishnan receives great pleasure from the work he does.

“I get this energy from the people,” he said. “The food which I cook ... the enjoyment which they get is the energy. I see the soul. I want to save my people.”


For more on him and his work check out their site akshaya.

And there are celebrities who care and have initiated  AGARAM and BEING HUMAN, the various corporates which serve as part of their corporate social responsiblity and schools which serve through the social service clubs, thus inculcating the value of compassion, share and care for the needy.


All these unsung heroes deserve space on our blog, newspapers and other media. Don't they?


                                             May their tribe increase!!!