Time stops by.......... for Ganesh Utsav

                                                                    The eco-friendly Ganesha

Festoons of mango leaves, marigolds, colored rangoli, flower,  paper decorations and  netted golden  valence around the gazebo, people in traditional attire, kids prancing around the complex in their ethnic best, our whole housing complex wore a festive look for the past few days due to Ganesh utsav.

The socio-religious- cultural festival of Ganesh utsav  is the most awaited in our complex by all, not just hindus but other minorities too. We generally book an eco-friendly Ganesha months before the festival so that it is available at low cost. This statue is lugged to our complex by our own residents( no external labour). The puja is performed daily in the morning and evening for five days followed by a prasad which is generally done by a few residents and a Maha Bhoj (dinner for all) on one of the evenings, outsourced to a caterer. 

A variety of educational and cultural programmes are organized in the evening like veena, vocal, veda chanting, bharatnatyam, folk,dance-drama(this year was mahishasura mardan) fusion, skits, extempore,debates, quiz and some special programs exclusively for senior citizens like singing etc. Many entrepreneurial women also set up stalls for chocolates, food, jewels, dress materials etc.,

The cultural events are an audio- visual treat for the residents. It also serves as a platform for the kids to showcase their talent and what a talented kid pool we have!. Not just kids, it also brings out the latent talent of those men and women who never got an opportunity before. The youngest participant was a 6 month old disguised as 'Anna Hazare' for fancy dress competition to an  90 year old senior citizen who participated in the prize distribution ceremony  by giving away prizes and gave a speech telling that they felt honored to stay in the community which recognizes senior  citizens.

The children of our complex put up a beautiful show daily in the evening helped by the elders( men and women) not necessarily their own parents but by their aunts, uncles and  friends in the complex.  An  aunty teaches contemporary dance, another aunty teaches skits, another one shares her jewels, sarees or applies make up for the dance. My children especially have great exposure and respect towards many indian cultures and have learnt a lot from this  Mini- Indian community with their peers which would not have been possible at home or at any school.

An exclusive ramp show for senior citizens and singing contest showcasing their love for their spouses showed how much the couples were in love in their evening of their life. An uncle(65 year old)  told he never got an opportunity  to express his love to his wife, while he was young when he was staying with his parents and now in old age  in front of his grown up son and d-i-l and sang the song ‘ Chaudvin ka chand ho...’. It was so touching.

  
A feeling of unity and the camaraderie we share,when people meet in person and socialize and get around to make an event like in a festival, which otherwise would'nt be possible with so many busy with their daily work. Many  working women and men( including my husband) came early from work to oversee the arrangements. Events like this make me feel we are one huge joint family. As a community, we do have our minor differences but what’s life without some spice.

On the last day, after the prize distribution of the various events, the laddu in the hands of the lord Ganesha was auctioned. The auction started at 2000Rs and ended at 9000. After the final aarti to the  Lord Ganesha  -  the  Scribe  par  excellence,  the  recorder  of  Mahabharata  went around the complex piloted by fire works. The God of wisdom, was taken for immersion amidst chants of Ganpati Bappa Morya. It was really funny and sad – a mixed feeling to see the children cry and run behind the vehicle not wanting to let go their favorite god.

On a personal note, The highlight of our cultural evening apart from the dance, music and other literary programs is a quiz program which is called ‘Conundrum’.  One of the resident guises as a quiz master and makes a complex questionnaire reflected on a projector screen, which throws up a  champion team called ‘Conundrum champions of our complex’ every year and the ‘Conundrum champion of 2011’ was won by my son’s team( 3 members) all of them aged 12. They edged out 14 teams, participants from the age of 10-18( Last year sadly, my son lost in the tie breaker round. ( both the teams won the tie-breaker and so they put a toss to find the winner) he sadly lost the toss. He was glad he won this year right under the same Ganesh ji. Whats' more he was glad he edged his own sis with whom his teachers often compare him with in school. 

My daughter who generally participates in the dance, skits  had to be contented with quiz, carnatic keerthanais and Shankar Mahadevan’s ‘Ganeshaya Deemahi’   due to her pre-boards clashing with the festival.

If festivals were celebrated not just for feasting and fasting, but to focus on happiness, oneness and to bust stress from the mechanized humdrum of our routine, then the essence of this festival is captured every year by us. Every year with this utsav, we feel time stops for 5 days.

The  'Conundrum champions of  our complex - 2011'. 

 My son bending down to check his prize which was a parker pen, while the other team mate is behind him.

P.S: wanted to post pictures of dance and skits but did not want to tresspass into other's privacy without their permission.

On a stone bench, under a shady tree......

                           

On my way to Talakkad, I passed through T. Narsipura – a  village which is a charming throwback in time. It was around 11 in the morning,  but the folks of the village looked so relaxed, some women were chatting on the ‘Thinnai’( cement benches),  while some old men were seated under a  stone platform  under a tree and chatting . Unlike the urban souls rushing in the  bumper to bumper traffic holding their mobiles,  people  here  were walkin to their farm lands and some were busy with their silk cocoons (sericulture), while some school boys were chasing the worn tyres with a stick. The way these  unknown villagers smiled and waved at us was so heartwarming.

Any way, the talks  under the tree and thinnai  is the topic of my post.  It made me recall my visit to my perimma’s ( mom’s elder sister) house 25 years back for  my vacation at Pettaivaithalai near Trichy.  It had beautiful  quarters  of Cauvery sugars( now Parry’s) where the rear  door of the back yard opened to  the  Cauvery canal and palm groves. Just in front of my perimma’s house was a square bench pattern on which all the ladies would assemble unofficially around 7 and chat their problems away.  These ladies would also go on a yearly trip to Kutralam( southern most district of India)  to buy the yearly stock of spices –  a business and pleasure trip.

Much before the Doordarshan days, my mom and her friends too  after their household work would sit out  under the gooseberry tree and talk while they learnt to knit, sew and ‘Can’ foods like juices,pickles and jams.  They were like members of one big family.

We have one such cement platform under the tangerine tree  in the back yard of our Grandmom’s house too at Lalgudi.  Neighbours come and chat with our house hold members.

The conversations in  all the above meetings would  involve politics, movies, music, cuisine, latest trends, developments, job and alliances for their children, schooling etc...  and most important was they would  share their personal problems,  happiness, worries , sympathise and empathise with the other’s feelings without being judgemental.  Just listening and talking their problems was so cathartic and de-stressing, my mom, and perimma would say. As a child, I was  a witness  to this talks.

Even yesterday over telecon my atthai( father's sis) told  me about the beautiful time she had  with my dad, mom and  her other siblings at my uncle's place, while we their children were faraway. The retired lot talk and spend their time and  it is so healing to their soul to share their problems.

These personal  meetings/conversations are called by many names in many languages like ‘Katte matthu’(kannada), arrattai  ( tamil),  gappe(hindi) , gossip or euphemistically I call it ‘ Group Discussion’ or   ‘Hang out’.  When  there are no family priorities,  I too experience the above meetings in my  housing society  with my  friends in the evenings.

These talks create a bond of share, care, love and help among people.   At times of crisis, they also become a support system like an extended family. 

My friend, who   is  a  member of a  counseling  organization based in Seattle often holds  meetings to counsel people.  She said all they  do is take some personal time to  listen  to people’s problems and they don’t even  give advice.  Just talking their problems made them mentally lighter.

Now tell me,  Isn’t there some similarity to the  above talks and the organization.?


A simple village activity  has metamorphosized  into an organization and given birth to a new job avenue called counseling.

If most of us talked and shared our worries and listened to others, there would be no need of family counselors, marriage counselors  or student counselors.  Today, many  of us  that too urban souls, plan strategies to compete and survive, think logically,  make scientific breakthroughs  in the process we have become less emotional.


Infact,  Most of them bottle up their emotions and portray a rosy picture these days which only harms our health.  Emotional connect has  become a victim of changed  times.

Many of us   socialize virtually  on  FB, Geni , skype , orkut etc… but unfortunately since time is a premium, today many find it difficult to connect with  their own family personally, leave alone friends.

Here, I could not stop myself from envying  those  simple villagers having katte matthu( conversation on an elevated platform).

 I so much dream   too  lead a simple life like those villagers,  chatting away  in some idyllic village faaaaaaaaarway from  the neon drenched , carbon spouting city  among  like minded relatives and friends, in my Dream home.

My Dream home? How will that be?  That’s an other post………….

P.S: The above theory of talk and healing was elucidated in a Tamil drama. If interested read here.

 ( Above photo was clicked on my way back  from Somnathpur, Karnataka)

"Food thy medicine" and slowing down too ........

This was one of my drafts but the trigger for posting this was yesterday’s Tamil debate show ‘Neeya Naana', This is a beautiful talk show ably presented by journalist turned anchor Gopinath. The topics he chooses for his debate show are very simple but useful. I generally miss this show since the timings do not suit me.( the program starts at 9 and stretches till 10.30 and I have to rise early at 5). Yesterday was an exception since Ravi mama(my uncle) participated in it.

The participants were divided on two sides, one side were the fat people who had tried many slimming programs and never lost weight and the other side were the medium built and thin people many of whom were conductors and endorsers of ‘thinning’ programs and products. There were informative and heated exchanges between the teams.

There was this 40 year fat lady who was a doctor by profession and said she never tried any slimming programs or low cal diet and she was fit and happy with no lifestyle or obesity related diseases. On the other hand, there was a man who jumped and ran like a teenager and said he was 61 and he hardly looked that age again he had no lifestyle disease.

I could’nt agree with either the 40 year or 60 year old because in my world I know a 6 year old takes insulin shots, 16 year old having diabetes and newspaper reporting that 25 year old dies of heart attack and in my world there are 70+ and 80 year olds who have no signs of diabetes, Blood pressure or any lifestyle related problems. Similarly, I know people

who eat less but are fat ,
who eat more but are thin
who are fat but fit
who are thin but unhealthy

So then what exactly are the triggers of lifestyle diseases?

My sister (a nutritionist & dietician who worked as a food technologist,she is not practicing any more) says “It is not the food itself that makes people fat but the thoughts and way of eating food that along with stress induces the lifestyle diseases”.


Her tips for healthy eating:

1)The aim of eating and drinking should be to produce enough blood, produce sufficient heat and energy in the body and satisfy the taste.

2) Our balanced diet should include 6 tastes, sweet, salt, spice(hot like chilli),sour, bitter and astringent. Today most of us include the first two and avoid the last two tastes.
Avoiding bitterness and astringent upsets the digestive system and balance in our blood, there by leading to a number of diseases. These tastes nullify the bad effects of sweets and purify the blood.


2) Don’t eat food with anti-thoughts like in guilt, frown, anger. Every cell in the body will reject and moreover when you count calories, you deprive your body of essential fats.


3)’ Food thy medicine’ said Hippocrates. So include herbal vegetables like sundakkai(turkey berry),Narthangai( a bitter citron), bittergourd, manathakkali(black night shade), banana stem, neem flowers lots of herbal greens like agatthi keerai(humming bird tree), murungakeerai(drumstick leaves) etc., once in a while and restrict celebratory foods like sweets, greasy foods to festivals. Avoid canned foods too. When things are less, we eat with joy and happiness.

4) Take time to eat. Don’t gobble or rush your food. See, sense, smell and taste your food. Chew them well, even liquid and soft food like sweets and icecream at least 12-15 times. Not chewing the food is the root cause of lifestyle diabetes. Not chewing the food means extra work for stomach and over-exertion of stomach invites many diseases and even fat.

Seeing the healthy orthodox 60+ and 70+ elders in my world, I feel it is not just the food but also they way they cook, worship and celebrate food that has kept them healthy. All those so called orthodox practices are relevant to lifestyle and health. They eat bitter foods like sundakkai, manathakkali, vazhaithandu, nellikai, agatthi keerai atleast once in 15 days when they practice those special days like ekadesi, dwadasi. etc., They have their bath before cooking so that our tropical climate does not spread the germs, They believe in chanting shloka while cooking, whose vibrations have effect on the food while it is cooked on slow fire in metal vessels like iron(irumbu vanali), brass, tin(iya chombu) and stone(kal chatti). These vessels impart the trace elements, aroma and flavor rendering the food tasty. The cooked food is then worshipped and offered to god.

They ate hot and fresh food which were not refridgerated, squatting on floor they ate slowly by chewing food. Refined and oily fried foods were on ocassions. Cooking and eating food was a worship and celebration in olden days, no wonder they ate healthy, felt healthy in body and mind.

Today where is the time for many to practice the above? I myself had no time. I used to rush through cooking, gobble or skip breakfast and rush to the classes in peak hour traffic inhaling the dust and fumes of my city. All these triggered sinusitis and other respiratory problems( I never had them before Dr. assigns it to pollution) Moreover I came back home tired though it was in the afternoon. I could not attend to my children’s and family needs. I was never at peace. I realized the job was not worth it though it gave me satisfaction not at the cost of my health. Though I am a restless person, I know I can occupy myself and keep myself busy from home. I’ve slowed down.

And the beautiful thoughts of Chetan Bhagat at his symbiosis speech which I got as a mail forward, further made me realize that I was not the only one who felt this way. Now he is not an author whose books I like with exception to” marriage of two states”, that too I like it because it was connected to my birth town and he shares the same wedding venue as my parents (Sri karpagambal kapaleeswarar thirumana mandapam in chennai’s suburb mylapore) (some connection this).

Many of you would have got this as an email forward.....for those who hav'nt click on it for better read.

Let them be children

My son came home after his play time last evening and said,

“Amma, Looks like Amar uncle(name changed) gets more salary than Appa” (Amar uncle is my husband’s colleague)

Taken aback by his innocent statement and tone, equally wondering why he was bothered about the salary, I asked him “ en da?” (Why man?)

My son said " because only Ritwik(name changed) has an iphone and a GM bat" (Gun and Moore- branded cricket bat).

Now Ritwik is in Class 5 and brings his iphone while he comes down to play within the complex.This time I was not shocked because that is how parents spend on children today.

Though there are parents like this, there are some parents like us who are not brand conscious especially when it comes to children’s toys, gaming equipments and clothing.

When we buy our children’s items, we keep in mind their comfort, style and to a certain extent durability especially with their dresses and play equipments. They outgrow their dresses very quickly( 6 months max) and buying a high-end label is more expensive compared to mid- range brands. Moreover all those Tirupur cottons and mid range brands are much more durable and good for casual wear and not mass produced like the branded wear, where you have the same design starting from 0 size to 34 size.

Same with play equipments, they outgrow them too. When it's IPL time they play cricket, football season they play football, other times they are busy with beyblades( chinese version of olden day spinning top), bakugans(again similar to chinese version of goli(marbles).

If there is one thing, that we as parents don’t compromise, It's the quality of sports shoes they wear. We prefer good shoes since it is a question of comfort while running, playing and foot growth.

But how does it matter with a bat?

You don’t need a ‘kookaburra’ or GM bat to hit a six or four. You can always throw a ‘6’ or sweep a ‘4’ with mid range bats, all that matters is your technique.

Children of today have to be taught the value of money else they treat money like tissue paper. Since young we have taught our kids ‘Money value’ than ‘brand value’. Though we can afford some comforts, we have purposely avoided(not deprived, depriving we feel could turn children aggressive) so that my children must be used to disappointments and discomforts like living in non-ac, travelling by bus etc., and also getting used to disappointments and failures develops their mental strength at an young age. Their mind gets seasoned to failures and disappointments when they face the competitive adult world.

I live in a place where there are enough children to raise 10 foot ball or cricket teams. All these children come from diverse backgrounds and culture. There is lot of peer learning and peer pressure. Now you can’t except every parent to share the same thoughts or teach their child the value of money, especially some parents believe in buying material comforts especially the branded ones available at exorbitant rates for their children to compensate for the quality time they can spend with their child and for the pressure they feel at school. The children in turn flash it amongst their peers to show their superiority. We can’t blame those parents either who feel guilty for not spending time. Added to this are all those advertisements on TV which are specially aimed at children. I know their job is to sell their products, but as parent we have a responsibility to keep our children from all those marketing and peer pressure. Sometimes I feel like telling them "Come on people,Let them be children, all they need is time, love,values not material".

When we start giving in to their demands and meet their wants, there comes a time in their life when they are not able to accept “No” as an answer and then they take the extreme step.They have to learn to deal with peer pressure too . No point in shielding them against TV and peer pressure.

My friend once told me of a school going girl in Delhi. She committed suicide because her dad sent her to school in a santro car and not in a sedan car like her peers. She pestered her dad to send her in a sedan car but her middle class parents who worked hard and raised a loan to send her to this upmarket school and met all her tantrums could not give in to this demand and the result was there in the paper next day “ "School going girl commits suicide because dad can’t afford Sedan ”

Another recent report which I read last week in the Hyderabad edition of 'The Hindu' stated that “15 year old student dies because father buys her a Chinese mobile instead of Nokia”. Not a healthy trend.

Under these circumstances, today’s parenting is an art. There are times when we as parents are on the crossroads, should we indulge and pamper our children or should we ration their wants and comforts to drive the fact that nothing comes easy in life and everything is hard earned.

But thankfully I’m blessed with children who know the value of money and can live in less comfort too.

Sometimes when I myself go overboard carried by the stirrings of my maternal love, I’m grounded by my children who tell me ‘Amma, you pamper us too much. Don’t waste money and Please be little strict’

Sometimes, I question my son "Do you feel like owning a GM bat?" He answers, " No ma, it is simply waste of money".

Here it is not the question of spending power, its the question of values.

Health by numbers

Most Corporates, these days are concerned about the fitness and health of their employees. They organise and conduct special health programs, health check-ups, implementing diet lunches,access to well equipped gyms at workplace and lectures by renowned physicians etc.,.

I recently came across a health booklet from GE(Genral Electric). This booklet came out of concern and for their associates health safety.

The booklet is named 0 5 10 25.



What is 0 5 10 25?

These numbers are the easiest way to remember GE energy's most important health message for its employees.

0 is for living tobacco free and highlights the importance of getting healthier by breaking our dependence on tobacco and its products.

5 – eat 5 servings of veggies and fruits each day, The 5 reminds us that we all need 5 or more servings of fruits and vegetables . This helps in displacing bad fat in our diet and helps us to enjoy the color and texture of fruits and veggies daily. By making this number we lower our cholesterol, level out our blood sugar, improve bowel regularity and decrease cancer risks.

10—10,000 steps or get 30 minutes of aerobic activity each day. This number prompts us to walk 10k steps which helps us feeling refreshed and relaxed. This helps us to move easily up the stairs ,helps in sound sleep at night and cut our diabetes risk. If exercise were a medication it would be a wonder drug without rival.

25—and keep your BMI(Body Mass Index) below 25. This number is the target recommended by WHO for BMI. As our BMI approaches this number, we feel healthier and happy with our new found energy levels

Courtesy: GE energy