Sunday, January 26, 2014

Some ageless gifts

This post was originally conceived for blogadda contest “ five gifts for your child to make his/her life secure”, but I missed the December deadline since I had other priorities. I decided to complete, edit and not stop at 5. I have a reason to publish it today. While the day is special because India celebrates Republic day, there is another reason for me to celebrate today . Before that, the post which many may find as incoherent ramblings of a parent.

All of us parents want to give a life of bliss for our children. There is a lot that we as parents change, give up happily to raise our children and make their life happy and secure. I believe we can raise them only till a point, after that the children are able to make their own decisions based on their upbringing. We can’t be around them all the time or keep them away from the harms/ shield them. I believe, The quality and quantitative moments that we spend during their infancy/ childhood/ adolescence and the value system with which we raise, is what will help them shape up into a strong individual. So,


It is the non-material gifts as parents we gift our children that lasts in their memory and has a positive effect on their lives.It is with great pride that I see both my teenagers emotionally, physically, spiritually and socially strong and his status always reads “ I am happy” .

Apart from the material gifts , we have gifted them lot of memories and non-material gifts and will always be gifting more. With just one purpose to have contentment, happiness and peace in whatever they do some of which I am listing here:

· To the best of our abilities, we are giving them a good upbringing to realize their fullest potential by helping them develop physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Our love has not pampered them but created them.

· As parents, we have inculcated in them the value that success does not mean being no. 1 and accumulating wealth, but it is in being healthy and finding happiness in the micro joys of life.

· We hav’nt taught them to run the rat race, but we have encouraged them to do their best and raise the bar each time they do their best.

· The best education ( school) that is possible within our means which gives them power to think and the freedom to use their intelligence.

· In today’s world, stress and pressure are indispensible, but they are spiritual and it is heartwarming to see them take deep breaths and meditate . Thanks to our prayer time and meditation time like gayatri chanting, deep breathing, thorpukaranam etc.,.

· Good exposure to co-curricular activities , outings to various workshops, trips to temples, historical, natural and cultural heritage sites have taught them learning does’nt happen in class room alone, for we believe horizontal exposure is the greatest classroom of life and will help them find their expertise.

· They have been taught the value of money. They don’t splurge much buckling to peer pressure and know the economics very well. Now at times, even when we miss to see the price tag, they check the value of the product against its worth.

· The yearly vacations they spent not at upmarket holiday resort or summer camp but at their grand parents home / GG parents home surrounded by loads of grand aunts, grand uncles , uncles, aunts and cousins are where they learnt the value of relationships. Today the relationship bonding is so strong that it takes care of their emotional stability.

· Encouraging friendships with peers have helped develop a good support system in friends  and has also  built a great network for them. Ofcouse, they know well how to handle bad peer pressure. They know that any activity which their parents would never have approved of is bad peer pressure.

· Communication skills is the need of the hour and as a parent it was our duty to make them proficient in the art of communication. We can only achieve what we have set to by being confident, vocal enough to voice our opinions fearlessly. Today, if they know the good from the bad it is because the communication channels between us have always been open. There is no awkwardness when we talk of taboo topics.


Of course, there are many more spheres where work is pending and many gifts will follow. Parenting that way is never ending, more so when they are in their adolescence. In this age, they are neither treated as young nor as adults. Being a child is easy; being an adult would be easy too. But, being an young adult is very challenging emotionally. As, parents we have to strive to be their emotional anchor.

One of the sweet-bitter moment of life is when your little ones grow up and outgrow us in all aspects of life. The little ones, other day who played , slept with you huddling and listening to stories and followed you like Mary’s little lamb over shoot you In height, stand over your shoulder , strike mature conversations about politics, life, technology etc As, I sit and type here I recollect their play time with...

Bakugans, Bey blades, Barbies, doll houses, cars, Caillous, Cliffords, Noddys, story books, CDs……..

Where did the years go?

FIFTEEN years!!!

OMG! Sunny boy turns 15 today!! Oh yes, we are celebrating his 15 years today with a home baked cake.


For him, his 17 year old sis has already set a precedent. Each year that went by must have added a layer of good foundation to make him such a sensible boy with terrific maturity and an amazing sense of humor.







It won’t be long when they leave the nest. In today’s scenario, where most children make up their mind to go for higher education and jobs to places away from home, this parenting is a short period. During the first few years they are completely ours. Once they fly away from the nest and build a life of their own, we become a part of their life. It is the value system which we gift that will help them steer from then on. These roots of our relationship if strong takes care of our child’s life even when we are away.


14 comments:

  1. Asha this is such sweet review of the growing years of children....from babyhood to an adult. Any child will be proud to have parents like you, who have inculcated in them how to respect the elders as also the values which will make them stand on their own.

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    1. Thank you ma'am. i am proud to have such children too.

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  2. I agree with all your points. A time comes when what they say makes sense to us, when we become their followers willingly, we respect their opinion on many things, and from having been their teachers we become their students.
    This is one thing I love about our modern generation,(which also includes us) we no longer feel the need to be a control freak like many of us had to go through while we were children/ adult/ and have our own children. There are still those kind of people who like to have full control over their grown up, married childrens' lives.
    Happy Birthday to your son!

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    1. True, especially during exam time i find parents controlling their children and surprisingly there are paretns who don't allow children to socialize even during non-exam hours.
      Thank you, rama. Conveyed your wishes to my son.

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  3. What an ideal upbringing you have done!...children will find themselves solidly rooted in their life with many wings to fly..

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    1. That's my wish too Renu. Hope the values are rooted deeply wherever they are.

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  4. Read your post with an increasing lump in the throat. Need I say more. Bravo !

    Happy birthday young man.

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    1. :) Thanks Ramesh, will convey the wishes to him

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  5. Belated birthday wishes to the big boy!! Proud of you and the way you have brought up your children Asha. These values that you have given them will stay with them for the rest of their lives!! Way to go, Asha and god bless your kids too :)

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    1. Thank you, shilpa:) I hope and pray the values stays with them forever. Knowing my god fearing children, i trust and am sure they will.

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  6. Excellent post. Read it twice. Please convey my birthday wishes to your son. Next year will be Sweet Sixteen.

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    1. Thank you, SG. yes, next year will be sweet 16.

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  7. Belated birthday greetings to your son. I am amazed at the kind of down to earth, totally beautiful upbringing they have had because of you. Indeed they are blessed to have some one as fine as you as their parent. Once they fly away from the nest and build a life of their own, they will forever be grateful for the love, upbringing and the effort you have put to steer them in the right direction. Stay blessed, all of you.

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  8. Thank you, dear Swapna. I am blessed to have such nice friends too. Thanks so much, you too stay blessed.

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