My dear appa!

Dear Appa!

I wanted to store my column written  for  world book day on my blog....suddenly I remembered how I write less about my love for loved ones. All the letters & words in English language are not enough to express my love for loved ones illaya pa? I am so protective about you all, that you & Amma often tell me my love chokes you all. So you know I have never made posts for father's day or mother's day or whatever day. But I have shared a few anecdotes & you have also read my blog posts. I scrolled back to read the post I wrote about all you men folk of our family.  I remember I got a Bottle green T- shirt  with ' 'soldier for women' written over it. It was one less size tight T-shirt & yet you proudly wore it telling everyone about the blog post.

Appa, you know words fail me, but I have so many anecdotes to share. I can't write about you in the past tense dear Appa, I am tearing up. 

One  of  my biggest fear of my life is losing you appa. You know what a sensitive person I am & I would be shattered to pieces if ever I lost you. But,you prepared me for the eventuality yet you were stronger & active till the last hour.

Appa, I will not  frame you in a photograph as our relatives & friends suggest.  I will not garland you appa, you will live with me in spirit.

You were a lovely role model who was always flexible , & adapted to changes easily so much so that you were comfortable with people across all ages , one can find you playing cricket with kids on the street as well as talking to old people & comforting them in their homes or with young men & women. You shared such a beautiful rapport with your grand children, teasing, playing , guiding them and you would wish them teacher's day as they taught you to handle mobiles & gadgets. You would Pride in your children's & grandchildren's talent so much so that my kids would tease me. I chuckle whenever I think of 'Edward Iyer'.

While tears welled up, Did you notice appa, I stood a proud girl beside you ,when people paid glowing tributes to you as selfless, generous, people's person, friendly, adaptable,helping tendency 'jaasti' but all people shared one common thing that you would never let go of whoever visits home without giving them to eat or drink, and you would make them yourself many a time .. & much much more with anecdotes.  Many people tell how they  were inspired by  you to take up a career in Sales , Marketing & people management because of you. Many talk of how you got them their career breaks.  generally people say glowing things after people pass away, I was surprised when all friends, neighbors took leave from work, pitched in to help and ensured smooth  functioning of rituals, till yesterday's 13th day.

Appa, I am so glad you helped me & your younger one to conduct the rituals comfortably. I will not miss you,we are from the same gene pool & we miss only those  whom we  lose. you will bewithme in spirit , while you are happy on the other side of rainbow with your parents & elders and I sure will look for you amongst the stars till we meet again.

Your words to me when I argue with you while you dole out things was 'Dharmam thalai kaakum' & ' oorar veetu kozhandail valartha than kuzhandai thaana valarum'. ( Something like you rise while you lift others)

Everyone says I already have inherited your values like punctuality, being organised, munkovam (anger) , will try to be like you appa in helping , feeding others, donating  & in generosity.  you will guide me dear appa


Always your
Kutty